Kinky Saas Bhi Kabhie Bahu Thii...The Unending saga of Slaughter-in-Raw

I think every Indian is aware of this daily soap on star-plus - Kyon ki saas bhi kabhi bahoo thi. well, every indian citizen is supposed to, as Phektha kapoor..sorry! Ektha Kapoor has made sure that it is in the DNA of every indian's domestic life. Afterall its a daily serial (killer)..watched my millions of sin-dians..i mean..indians.. Ever wondered when did this serial start? (C'mon...thats easy guys!, the difficult one is to wonder when would it end...).

It all started..long ago...7 years ago...7 years is big time...and when it started, it was sort of a strom on television...even today, it is...just watch one episode, you get to see camera movements in so many angles, the same expression on the same face (which you saw 7 years ago), but through so many cameras..each covering every possible angle, the most important being:

1. camera closing in from left to right.

2. then from right to left.
3. then from top to bottom.
4.and lastly from bottom to top.

Notice (because u cant ignore) the extraordinary usage of percussions for this scene..but wait..it isnt over yet. the above sequence is only for a single dialogue uttered by a certain actually-55-year-old-but-looks-30 aunty whose chiffon sarees are no less less glittering than the ones worn by Rani Mukherjee or related clan. now, apparently this female has a daughter-in-law who mouths a counter dialogue and then, the director and camera-man showcase one of their innovative ideas:

1. camera closes from right to left.
2. and now from left to right.
3. one from from bottom to top.
4. and then from top to bottom.

unfortunately, the background music composer cannot showcase the same creativity and he repeats the same percussions, assaulting our ears. well, this goes on for quite sometime with lot of drama, action, and what not!

The Devan Verma of Hrishikesh Mukherjee's Golmaal would have said: kya nahi hain is story mein...action..drama..comedy...sex..romance.violence...qawwali..cabret..main aaj hi ise Rishi Kapoor ko sunaaoonga..woh paagal hojaayega..He will go Maaad!!

arey Devan bhai..why that kapoor..our Ekta Kapoor is showing it on TV since 7 years..aur log paagal ho rahe hai..they are going mad!!!

One more aspect quite commendable about this serial is the height of creativity of the team involved..Imagine..they sit and make up the story for the night..just 2-3 days before it is aired.i mean..there is no script as such..but the team decides it then and there and build on the story so far shot..to make the next episode. you know what thats called.."Improvisation..in a new dimension".. whoa! and even if a scene is written..say a 3 page scene..they actually improvise it technically, with those all-angle-camera shots into 3 episodes..c'mon, which director/team can beat it tell me?

The biggest feat, which Ekta Kapoor managed is something unparalled by anyone...never before..and never again..just like the way Gabbar singh says "gabbar ke taak se sirf ek hi aadmi bachaa saktha hai..ek hi aadmi....KHUD GABBAR"...Ekta Kapoor's feat could be challenged and beat by..Ekta Kapoor herself..and that feat is: "Defying Nature"..defying science..C'mon, not everyday you come across a mother-in-law, whose daughter-in-law is a mother-in-law to someone who has a daughter-in-law, the son of which is about to marry a female....just count the generations...6!! hey wait..! how come its just 6...going by the number of years..its been 7 years since the serial has started..so, if logic serves right, there should be 7 generations..i think i missed one more character somewhere in the loop..sorry Ekta..Galthi hogayee!!

So, every generation lives on..beating nature..science..and most importantly..Logic! This is Ekta's Biggest Feat.

and consequently, there is a corollary-feat there. With this feat, Ekta Kapoor managed to Insult the Intelligence of millions of people. and c'mon guys..there is no disputing the fact. She did. thats all. How can you explain someone assaulting the entire nation, for 7 years...5 days a week!! that too, without letting them feel a pinch of it!!

For your relentless commitment to challenge the Cognitive faculties of viewers! Ekta..Take a bow!

Now, you guys must be wondering whats the crux of this post...c'mon,.have you ever wondered whats the crux of that serial..so, stop figuring that out. But to think of it, i have idenitified the crux of this serial. Its Slaughter-in-raw...sorry..its Daughter-in-law!

The thing is...Apparently, the most famous character of this serial "Tulsi" would be dying tonight. SHOCKED!!! now c'mon..dont get shocked here! u should get shocked while watching it, if you dare to..or else, all those camera rushes and percussions would go waste.

But the twist in the tale is..Tulsi would not actually die (did i disappoint anyone here). The actress (she defnly is..) who potrayed (yes, i take the responsibility of using this word here) the role of Tulsi is making an exit tonight..and the character would be given to some other actress sometime soon.

and i know whats coming next: How do I know this? well..thats the crux of this post!
Thanks to NDTV and its highly responsible journalism, this news was aired as headlines/coverstory all this evening-through night. infact, its just not a news-bit, they went on to do complete cover-story, public-opinion, blah blah blah...for the entire evening-night.They surely have learnt a thing or two from Phektha Kapoor..sorry again..Ektha Kapoor...i can call it "Journalism..touching a new dimension".

For your foray into Yellow Journalism! NDTV! Take a bow!

So, dont worry, if you are a masochist, then you can still continue watching the serial...you wont be disappointed... the lady whom you saw getting married in the last episode will become a mother-in-law to someone whose daughter-in-law will welcome her own daughter-in-law into the family despite the latter(the latter-most infact) being pregnant and all the preceeding daughter-in-laws/mother-in-laws will bless the child who will grow up to bring another daughter-in-law, whose................. and it continues..

The show will go on...People will watch on...They are used to it, right! Now, even mediocre is sky for them, just like for Ekta..and she is trying her best to reach that sky, with ample support from her loyal audience.

for your ultra-ordinary patience! My fellow country-women!!! take a bow!

and for all the men who watch it... i think they deserve the highest applause, if any.

Please continue watching it my dear viewers...and watch this space, after 7 generations...for someone from the 7th generation in my family, would extol Ekta Kapoor, her time/age-defying characters, the same serial and you all too..again...in this blog... (its my/our humble attempt to match with the longevity of Ekta and her world of Kinky Saas Bhi Kabhie Bahu Thii)

and mind you..all the females, be it mother-in-law or(and) daughter-in-law(the women don both the roles!!)...will continue to look like bimbettes with chiffon sarees (la Sushmita Sen)..as usual.Isn't it Kinky??