From looking at the 8:00am-showing clock to groping for towel with thoughts of "Am i late?" to hurrying up to bathroom songs to what to wear now to checking the number of downloads(by morning, through nite) to rushing out without breakfast to rearranging the scattered thoughts( & recollecting the dreams) while driving to a couple of Hellos to interest rate parities to exchange rate mechanisms to spot-rate future rates to financial risk management to problems to solutions to mistakes to frustrations to retrospections to regrets to a cup to tea to dollar-rupee markets to lunch to chitteratti to checking e-mails to income tax to deductions to depreciation to commercial banking to bach's"running from safety" to downloading r.d.burman songs to pondering over Emptiness & Nothingness to e-mails to Company analysis to net profits to GDP to industry sectors to downloading a song to P/E ratios to financial indicators to performances to jokes to Bye-Byes to struggling to get into Bus to "how was the day" kind of thoughts to introspections to room for other thoughts to "oh my God its 10:00pm" to hogging dinner to copying downloaded songs to enqueueing more downloads to Times of India to fone calls to Business Standard to security analysis to "lets call it a day" to inexplicable solitude-filled thoughts to music of zakhm to sleep.

All through this journey of one-day...What am i missing? what do i want?

Narcissism too has certain limits.But some people cross such limits too. I was more-than-shocked to read the Tribute to R.D.Burman by Anu Malik, on the occasion of 11th death anniversary of one of the foremost pioneers of modern music,R.D.Burman. Anu Malik showers more of insult than tribute on the legend, by comparing himself with R.D.Burman. I dont know where from he had gathered the audacity to do that, but it really reflects the heights of arrogance he has touched, all by dishing out the crappiest music ever. Absolutely ridiculous were statements like :

I could see that suddenly, at the last moment, he changed whatever music he had composed and whatever his musicians were playing.
Today, I find the same trait in myself -- I change my music at the last moment if I find it is not gelling.

He was a complete and versatile composer. He could give you an Amar Prem and a Teesri Manzil at the same breath --which, if you notice, I have done when I did while I composed Judwaa and Refugee and Virasat and Border. They are two different genres of music.

You fall in love with those tunes a million times because he made music from his heart -- the way I make it now. That was the USP of his music, which I have tried in my music -- by making melodic tunes.

So,Anu Malik thinks that his JUDWAA, which has songs like Oonchi hai building...lift bhi bandh hai..is in the same breadth as Teesri Manzil. Or his Refugee (which has a mish-mash of all old songs) could be this day's Amar Prem. Good for him, for i now stongly believe that Anu Malik was completely drunk when he gave this interview. Either he is drunk, or on coke, or the only final possibility is that he has lost his sanity and requires immediate medical treatment. He definitely doesnt know what he is talking or atleast doesnt understand the gravity of his statements.

I am quite sure that Anu Malik has dished out atleast 100 soundtracks(err! sorry..i doubt if this bastard can understand the real meaning of the word Soundtrack.) ..i mean..he must have scored for over 100films. Not even a Single score has a completely ORIGINAL work and yet he dares to put up such a conceit without any shame.

Well, this is the age of self-appreciation, which is prevalent more in the Hindi Film Industry based in Bombay. A couple of days ago, i read an intervew of composer Ismail Darbar in the same rediff.com, in which, he claimed that his work was always better than A.R.Rahman. Darbar, who had not yet composed for 10 films till now, making such a statement about A.R.Rahman who has been around since 10years, with some phenomemal scores in his kitty. that was the most callous comparision, i felt, when i read that.

But now, Anu Malik has put Ismail Darbar's arrogance to shame. Being among the most filthiest composers list, he doesnt even hesitate for a moment, to boast about his work. And even when he does, he has only Border & Refugee to talk about. Border is one of the most stale & Pale scores ever and Refugee can be credited to yester-year composers Ravi+Roshan etc.,., with ample sound arrangements from Ranjit Barot, who later on designed the sound for Aks. with all that, can they atleast hold a SMALL-candle to R.D.Burman's compositions? How could he even Dream about such a comparision? And what next, would he compare himself to S.D.Burman? or Salil Chaudhary? Or Madan Mohan?(i would definitely stab him to death if he does that) No, just wait and Watch, the next comparision would be with Khaiyyam, for Anu Malik is composing the music for a new remake of Umrao Jaan.

And dont be surprised if other composers take inspiration from this Bastard.after this, we can now see Nadeem Shravan comparing themselves with Shankar-JaiKishan or to hit the abyss, R.P.Patnaik comparing himself with Master Venu or S.Rajeswara Rao or for that matter even Ilaiyaraaja.

But yes, for the first time, on R.D's Death anniversary, i felt glad that he is not around. If he were, he would have surely suffered a Heart-stroke, reading Anu Malik's mega-narcissistic statements.Who knows! he must have tossed in his Grave. If only i could dig a Grave for Anu Malik, that too thousands of Kilometers away from R.D's...coz thats where he is & deserves to be, even in music.

( i couldnt stain by mavericks blog with 'bastard'anu malik's content, hence i discharged my anger here)

I love myself immersed in my own world,
Trying to Solve the enigmatic mysteries…
of life…out of arrogance…
& Of my life…out of ignorance…
I understand myself and my world, sometimes,
And yet how little I know,
The songs of my thoughts, their poetry,
Their images…hues & their patterns,
Rhymeless Rhythms…
Few relationships…
like threads...
tied....and untied…
tried and untried…
The voice of my body…
my smiles…& few Silent Passages…
Trenches of Emptiness…
And skies of fullness…
All these known to me...
--- yet unknown…

I love you too because,
You are nearest to me,
like my own self.
I understand you too, your world,
The songs of silences, unwritten poems,
Woven in the rustic interludes,
Of the winter melodies…
Broken & unbroken…
Spoken & Unspoken…
Those hidden images of your life,
Hanging in the worlds unexplored,
All your nameless thoughts…
Known and yet some seemingly unknown.
Isn’t it strange that,
You are myself’s self,
And still, As obscure to me…
--- As my own self…

An orphaned tsunami survivor cries as she pays homage to the tsunami victims in Nagapattinam on Monday.

One Family...
for her.
And one wave...
of Water...
It came,
Ruining it..
Leaving only ruins...
of their images...
amassed as Tears...
for her.
what sin did she commit,
she herself doesnt know.
A wave of memories...
washed ashore,
in the sea of one tear-drop.
on her cheek.
One Orphan...

Extracts from The Adventures of U-Know-Who.

I wish to share a couple of episodes from the Life of U-know-who, which he narrated to me, with excruciating details.

Episode-1

Once upon a time in hyderabad, U-know-who got to take 20 pple to Industrial exhibition(which runs every year in the month of Jan).Mind you, he didnt go with 20guys but he had to take them...viz..drive them to the exhibition.Now, thats natural..for the importance(effectively affecting) he holds in the lives people living around him and also his near & dear. anyways, those 20 guys( males+females..apparently his cousins & most importantly his maamaajis daughters..Ahem!) being huge fans of u-know-who, wanted him to be with them for all the time they got to spend there.what more! with no dilly-dallying, they wanted to drench themselves in the raining affection of only u-know-who, for which, they asked him to buy a whole-lot-of-things.i cannot remember much about the purchases but it has been told that quite-a-lot has been bought. then came the fun part..err..i mean..the fun rides...the entire gang, apparently, were on a ride-spree and enjoy all the thrills ( & frills) ..after a fulltoo joy-ride session which included Tora-Tora,Giant wheel and stuff like that. the bill for all the thrill..went to u-know-who..and his wallet was heading for a kill. and after the thrill, it was time to chill.U-know-who was on a major spending spree, buying all the piping hot samosas & bhel puris and other chat'ty stuff.apparently the weight of his wallet was not showing much difference, even though u-know-who had taken the onus of entertaining 20fans from his family circle."what else", i thought, listening to the narration..but to my surprise..u-know-who..instead of adding more..has infact edited the story out and shot a final question at me.

"How much do you think i had to shell down that night?"

as always, i had only silence(in awwwwe of him) to respond with. But u-know-who is not an easy man to give up. He demands participation and will prolong the suspense to an eternity until you please him wth the question,"how much?".But then,he doesnt prolong it with silence either.instead, he shoots the order,"Ask how much? Ask me! Come on...Ask me". Finally, when i surrendered to him and asked "How much??", he broke the suspense with is unbelievable answer,"Rs.10000/-".
being a sane man(sometimes atleast),i casually asked ,"How come u carried so much Cash?".

His reply was a revelation of sorts.."I didnt have so much money. I had to use my card everywhere i spent".Everywhere! Thanks to him, for he reminded me through this story, the kind of Progress made by Information Technology in hyderabad.January is fast-approaching and i am eagerly looking forward to swipe my debit card to have a hott Mirchi-Bajji and some joy-ride thrills..

Episode-2

U-know-who had to go to Karimnagar(a district in Andhra Pradesh) in car, along with a friend of his and two girls (when it comes to girls, even James Bond is dwarfed by U-Know-who..i shall narrate his advantures with damsels in future posts). As always, he was driving and one of the females challenged the very basic skills of his life, Speed... within no time, he pulled the throttle..i mean..changed the gears and the car shot from 45kmph to 145kmph in 5 seconds. Ok, Pardon me for forgetting the brand of the car but on the flipside, had i known that, i would have immediately contacted the engineers ,who worked on the car.. only to enlighten their ignorance. I wish they knew that the car was capable of going beyond their expectations and their skill. And only one man discovered it. Ofcourse, he later touched a speed of 205kmph , only to silence that female...which is altogether a different-but-nothing-new-story.

Some habits are too hard to give up.

Credits :

U-Know-Who...for giving me a melodramatic edge-of-the-seat narration, the aesthetic & out-of-the-world quality of which.. i couldnt even dare to touch.

Albert Einstein..for his aphorism,"Imagination is far more powerful than Knowledge", which eventually turned out to be the motto of the one & only...U-Know-Who.

Though not on Public Demand...But on somebody's demand...an Early-Amateur work.

All night long---the effort to make out,
---------------------the meaning in your silence,
---------------------kept me from sleeping.
---------------------the silences fathomed,
---------------------are enigmatic... still...

All night long---a strong pulse beat,
---------------------inside and outside me,
---------------------trying to image,
---------------------the purpose of your silence.
---------------------the image is blurred... still...

All night long---the words unspoken,the tune unknown,
---------------------traced and retraced their lines,
---------------------into the truth in our hearts.
---------------------the truth and the songs,
---------------------are suppressed... still...

All night long---i waited for you,
---------------------to come and read out my poems,
---------------------sitting beside in moon-shine,
---------------------holding my palm affectionately.
---------------------i am waiting... still...

An extract from the Life of U-Know-Who:

Scene-1

An unknown guy, apparently a friend of U-Know-Who, got out of his house, after an argument with his parents..in a fit of anger...Like an angry-young-man of 70s films, he got into his car (maruthi) and began driving at a high speed. Unfortunately, the direction is not known..i mean..he himself didnt know where he was heading..but he was on the way to some place. He crossed the city outskirts and took a Highway..where he drove with such a speed that even japanese cars are put to shame. The scene ends with the car zooming past and fading behind the horizon.

Scene 2

The telephone rang. U-Know-who answered the call.Silence...he didnt speak a word for few minutes..(the camera infront of him moves upclose to his cover his facial expressions)..who is it?what is he/she saying that froze the facial nerves of you-know-who? Finally, to kill the suspense or rather to penetrate it more, he said "I'm coming...". As soon as he hung up that call, the teleohone rang again..this time again, silence..(we dont know who is on the other side? )..but much to our relief, you-know-who said,"its ok aunty...i will take care of it...you dont worry". Now you see..the suspense is partially broken..but not completely.

Scene 3

U-Know-Who got into his car and raced past the city roads. Within no time, he was out of hyderabad, driving in the same unknown direction..but on the very same highway...the only change is that you-know-who has broken the speed record set by his friend, for he is driving at a speed of 200Km/Hr...sorry..infact he crossed it..now, imagine the needle of the speedometer completing a full 720 degrees (360X2=720.. given the fact that its a maruthi..i think the max speed the speedometer reads is 120kmph..am i right?...isnt this really bad..that a car allows speeds greater than 140kmph but doesnt let the speedometer reveal it...anyways..our you-know-who could calculate it mentally..).Within no time(obviously), he reached a place where his friend was waiting for him. His car screeched to a halt...he got down and asked his friend,"what happened?"

Scene 4 (flashback)

The car his friend was driving reached a place near kurnool...forget roads, forget traffic..i mean..he forgot all of it and was still driving at great speed (not as much as u-know-who..mind u..u-know-who is unique in everything..whatever he does..) . something happened in a blink and his car flew and somersaulted in the air...like in-a-typical-tamil-film-of-Vijaykanth. After sufficient turns, the car finally surrendered to Gravity ..but in a very unique way. The car hit the ground Head-ON...90-degrees to the ground...Not a degree more-not a degree less...and since the ground was actually a wet paddy field, the car actually got stuck in that perpendicular position because the center of gravity of the car was exactly in the line of perpendicularity. Fortunately, his friend was very much safe(didnt i tell you that vijaykanth films are inspired by real-life incidents)..and got out of the car...though the car was still stuck perpendicular to the field with its nose punched in. flashback ends.

Scene 5

his friend pointed his finger at the car and you-know-who was surprised to see a car standing in verical position. now, it has to be brought back to its normal position...But is the job easy? certainly not..because the paddy field which was wet when the car smooched it, has now dried up...thanks to the intensely blazing sun rays..and it was already noon..An idea flashed in the mind of You-know-who...Immediately, he got into the car and drove ahead (this time, at a much lesser speed of just 150kmph) to a village. He gathered some people from there and got them to this site. with their help, finally, the car was brought back to its normal position..

Scene 6

U-Know-who took his friend to his home and the anxious parents breathed a sigh of relief...They thanked u-know-who for the glorious deed of saving his friend's life...His friend too couldnt couldnt control his emotions and hailed u-know-who as a........................Super Hero.
all is well...that ends well.

---As narrated by U-Know-Who.

PS: now dont ask impertinent questions like what happened to that awesome car. If that little suspense is not maintained, there wouldnt be any Enigma associated with You-Know-Who...The Saviour.

Strange turn of events. I was discussing about the college festival we guys are conducting on 5th Dec. And in a blink, i tripped over the staircase. Though i could manage to sit in the class during post-lunch session, the pain in the ankle became intolerable by 4:30pm and my friend Govind took me to NIMS hospital. The first sight of the hospital was an unforgettable one...with a guy bleeding from the knee. There was another 1st-time for me there in the hospital...For the 1st time ever, i was on a stretcher. Within no time, i landed in the Emergency ward where the doctors tested my foot by trying their hands at it. A pain-killer injection temporarily eased the pain out.An X-ray was inevitable. After teh X-ray, the attendants startled me with their jargon ," Nurse! what do you want us to do with this CASE? Shall we park here or outside?"..Godamn! i was alive...still breathing and they were referring to me as Case. Anyways, after the X-ray reports were out, doctors confirmed that there was no fracture but a tear in the ligment.
with the bandage Done, i was moved out of hospital, on same stretcher>but just when i was abt to get into teh rick, the pain peaked like hell.i yelled for doctor again. then, Action Replay...i was again brought to Emergency ward..another shot of Pain killer..and after redressing of bandage i was discharged. Doctors advised me not to walk for next 10days.
And here i am, at home..anchored to the bed with a bandage (filmi style u see )..with all the time in the world to write any crap i wish here..
So, u will get to see daily updates on my blog, for the next one week atleast...

U-Know-Who deserves to be on blog, which is why i am here, donning the role of Narrator. I shall be writing a series of adventures/anecdotes from the bygone or rather...untold chapters in the "The Life of You-Know-Who". But you must note that every detail i give is as per the narration of U-Know-Who himself. Though you are free to interpret the adventures in anyway you wish, you cannot question their authenticity whatsoever.

Centuries ago, one wise-man who found out some strange things related to Human Brain recorded those secrets in his note-book and went home. The secrets, the legend says, are so dangerous that it has strange effects..not on people who read them...but on the people whose ears fall prey to them.Back home, during dinner time, he got enraged because his wife didnt put suffcient cardamom spices in the curry and yelled at her. So, when he goes to sleep after dinner..his wife opened the book and out of curiousity, she read aloud those closely-guarded secrets. His ears wrinkled...his brain developed punctures...the room was filled with light..and God appeared. God said that he has to bear a curse for being so negligent with the secrets of the brain. Centuries later, in Kaliyuga( when God cannot be seen), God said, he would be born with an extra-ordinary skill whose direct impact would be felt on brain. The God disappeared , taking alongwith him...the wife of this wise-man.

How many years have passed and how many centuries have passed. But on one fine night, in Kaliyuga,a boy was born on planet earth, in south-india, following which there was a huge storm. Thunders from clouds... the gadgets at meteorological department got jammed. Radio stations emitted strange sounds. Down south, people, in a typical south-indian accent asked each other, "you know who is responsible for all this?". Slowly the question spread like news, in and around south-india and everybody began to believe "you-know-who is resonsible for all this".

The boy later came to be known as u-know-who.

Though not much has been revealed as yet, about his childhood, Time shall unfold every chapter sooner or later and the world shall wake up to The Legend Of U-Know-Who...through my blog.

This 23-24 yr old guy, from Hyderabad, has a tall-lean body. Stony face..Spectacles. Loves to smoke 6 cigarettes a day. And most importantly, loves to talk...so much that people close to him might consider to send him to blabbering..er...sorry...talking competitions. and his favourite topics are the ones centered around his own life. Now ok, he is not that narcissistic ok..but to be honest, he is very helpful with people...only at the cost of talking escapades.

I dont wish to write more about his personality. The adventures reveal a lot more. So, let me start off without any delay...
Coming up.."You-Know-Who----the Saviour"

Taking the inspiration from various comic-strips, i am coming up with my own character. At the onset, i couldnt really figure out the name suitable for the character. However, after much deliberation and suggestions, i have zeroed in the name as U-KNOW-WHO.
i shall kick start the adventure series very soon...Keep checking this space.

The first post would be a brief description about the character.dont miss it.

credits : J.K.Rowling, Divya( wise-moron), my friends...

and last but the least..U-KNOW-WHO himself.

How does one traverse the fissure between the thoughts and the routine..or so to say...between what you long forand what you really do?The JAM which you feel in life, after which there comes a phase of stagnation...how can you grow beyond it?

many a times, i am baffled by/with this thought, because i myself feel severe stagnation to the depths. It is like as if you have stopped growing beyond a stage. You know the next stages, the future stages...you imagine it...you understand it..yet you cannot reach out for it, for you are tied to the mundane routines of daily life, to the extent that the urge to make an attempt dies out atthe end of a tired day.

People say "you grow more...when you read more..and learn more"..Given the obstinate demands and goals we set for ourselves to make a living(supposedly a better one..), how the hell can we take out time to read..and then think..and then even execute what we've learnt. Some others say " you grow more..when you observe people..talk to them"..would i buy that? not completely though. As more and more mechanical-ity sets in...into our lives as such..the perspective of connecting with people becomes discrete rather than being a continuous process.and i think few observations dont make up a learning. There must be many more channels through which we yearn to grow up..Because not all..work right for all.May be each of us set out to seek our own path..with a direction presumably. But how do we know that we are heading right, even if we are trying to?
Like one nice writer once questioned himself, " I gave my life to become the person i am right now. Was it worth it?".

My most favourite Kids songs from Indian Films :

1. Naani teri Morni : Hemanth Kumar.

This song, from film "Masoom" (1960) , was sung by Ranu Mukherjee, Hemanth Kumar's daughter. Wonderful song, probably the benchmark for a song which is really meant for kids aged below 5 yrs.

2. Lakdi Ki Kaati : R.D.Burman.

Coincidentally, this song is also from a film "Masoom" (1983).this Shekhar Kapur's screen adaptation of Erich Segal's "Man,Woman & Child" , had fantastic music by R.D.Burman. each song has a different mood. 2 kids sang this song, one being preethi uttam. when i was a kid, my parents say, i always used to insist on playing this song. and even now, i find it extremely hummable.

3. My dear Kuttichethan : Ilaiyaraaja.

This film was dubbed into other languages as well (chota chethan in hindi), as it was a 3-D film for Kids. The soundtrack by Ilaiyaraaja is a brilliant( and rare) one.

4. Anjali : Ilaiyaraaja.

Maniratnam's "Anjali" (1990) is another film, whose complete soundtrack is my favourite.I cant choose just 1 or 2 songs but the complete soundtrack. Also, it is one of those few albums of Ilaiyaraaja, which had unique sound/presentation/genre..something which he didnt repeat in any other film.

After these, none could really make an impact.

Rewind : In the year 2002, a friend gave a cue,"Dancing Soul", to me and ravi. and we both decided to come up with whatever we could think off, from this phrase "Dancing Soul". We did. This is my version, in which, i took the liberty to use the title of a composition by "Shakti" (one of the greatest fusion bands..which had John McLaughin,Zakir Hussain,L.Shankar). The last four lines, comprise that title ( not just the title..even the track is amazing, if at all, any of you have heard it...).I do not have Ravi's version with me but i would be glad if he can put it up on his blog.

Beyond the day sky,
Rinsed in the rays of red,
And the night sky, jeweled,
With stars and smiles of moonlight,
The dark clouds and silhouettes,
With rainbows sweeping across…
Beyond the bounded ecstasies,
And torrents of pain,
Faceless anonymities called shadows,
Starving reflections called images,
Breezy waves of realities,
And fluttering curtains of illusions…

Beyond the streams of time,
From which bubble the eternal questions,
Of life and death,
Scattering my body,
To longings and meditations,
I drift giving up,
My only possession—freedom,
On the pinnacles of sheer delight,
Only to seek his love,
For freedom is of earth,
And love is of heaven.

And my creeping visions,
Set my numb sensations awake,
With a slicing melody,
And vibrant rhythms,
When I felt him, within,
And beyond the horizons of crimson desires.
Amidst the audience of angels,
What need I have for that,
What need I have for this,
I am dancing at the feet of my lord,
All is bliss…… all is bliss.

Balance Sheet :

The final outcome, after some Shit, given to us, is classified in order to strike a balance between both sides considered for classification.

Generally, the shit involves data with numbers.

Origin: Originally used phrase is "balance Shit"...since it involves a tedious proceedure, many accountants elongated the shit to sheet, which is currently in vogue.

something is missing in life. I havent been writing anything since aeons, and the itch has already started. also, with more time available to listen to music, i have come up with a good reason which can keep my writing-bug..on its toes. Today i kick-started the Fantastic combinations series on my "musicmavericks" blog. Currently, i am re-tracing the career graph of the "maniratnam-ilaiyaraaja" combination, which has given some fantastic music in the 80s and early 90s. Ravi is my partner-in-chime. i hope we can put up something worth, in the days ahead.

meanwhile, the creative department(or compartment) of my mind seems to be jammed completely, for i am unable to update anything on this blog. ofcourse, i cannot write just for the sake of obligation(towards myself again..). huh! a blog...and an obligation...sounds like a weird movie title..what could be the relationship!! there is. now that the blog(any blog..for that matter) has some readers, who keep checking it out..for updates. but i sometimes wonder, "do people really have patience to read about some one's life"..now ok..this thought is based on the assumption that a certain blog is about a person's life..his/her daily life or something of that sort...would anyone be interested? if yes, why? that doesnt mean that i am completely ego-centric or selfish (although i do have that virtue)..but,i do have this thought at times.also, if a person is writing about his/her life, on blog, then does he/she have the infinite freedom to post whatever he/she wants to. i really doubt that. everyone needs to censor something or the other, to avoid some controversy ( thats a big word..but..de-magnify it..).
still, we post. sometimes, even when we dont know what to post. is that an obligation(towards oneself again..)? Hmm! A Blog...and an Obligation...

now dont ask me, if i feel the same. all i can say it that, the itch...is minifying.

On the flip side:

look at the words!! A Blog...and an Obligation...there is already a blog in the word obligation...ok, now, fuse them..and u have "blogligation"..hmm! new word..meaningless though!