From one pain, you’ve rescued me.
Did everything possible to cheer me up.
Helped me in my tears,
To move beyond my fears.
One night has ended.
And journey towards another has started.
Another night. Another pain.,
Which divides us,
With the units of time and distance.
Some emotions are indeed a journey,
On the rough waves of a tumultuous sea,
Prying into distant horizons, unexplored,
Of a tomorrow, unknown.

Lets cross this night and journey,
To explore that new dawn,
Hidden in a multitude of avenues,
Calling us in resonant voices.
A chapter lies behind us, let it lie.
Another chapter calls us, lets go…

Everyday I have a look at this link: Chennai Concerts 2008/09

And I feel I am a C-O-C-K.

Because I cannot go.

Damn Life!

Money is just a myth, an important myth though... used to measure the dimensions of reality.

I asked you
and you said
'you're too vague'
of course I am...
I am afraid
your answer
would be finite
leaving no room
for hope
for interpretation
for dreaming
for yearning
for the search
for myself
in you

An eternity lives
between a yes
and a no.

Written by Shekhar Kapur

What exactly is our aim in life?

What is the point we are trying to make?

Whatever we are doing, Is it of any consequence? To whom?

To be able to live, with freedom, choices and comfort seems to be sheer luck. If it is so, do we ought to spend it, aimlessly...always trying keep different things intact..preventing them from crumbling down..be it financial security or emotional bonding or job or future etc?

Are we all supposed to spend our lives, just like managers, balancing many things?

Will we ever be able to enrich ourselves with finer elements of life? things which we deem are finer and which are important to our quality of living?

Will we ever give something, as payback, for all the volume of life, the freedom and choices we have got? Will we ever see the need to give something? Give what? To Whom? to what?  Will our conscience shake us to reflect upon that? And will it push us to really reciprocate?

Do we really have something called conscience? Or is it just a myth?

Will we ever live, without regret? Will we ever give meaning to our own existence? If so, can it be devoid of compromise?

Can we ever be, without any restlessness?

This piece of news vindicated my thoughts, expressed in my previous post.

"The father of Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan, who died fighting terrorists in the Bombay, expressed immense anger towards politicians. He literally shooed away the Kerala Chief Minister, who delayed in offering condolences. The dead commando's father did not tolerate CM's presence and shouted at him to leave at once. He remained firm that no politician should ever enter his house and refused to meet the leaders from his state. He even threatened to commit suicide if any politician entered his house."

The point still remains - "Do our politicians get messages such as these?". The answer is, 'Sometimes, They do". But then, the height of insensitivity they display in their response is something which no politician in this World or for that matter, no sane and level-headed human being can match. Kerala Chief Minister remarked "If it had not been (Major) Sandeep's house, not even a dog would have glanced that way". Those words came, not from a road side riffraff, but from the 2nd citizen of a State - The Chief Minister, to the family of a soldier who died fighting the terrorists. This truly reflects our leaders and their sensibilities. This truly reflects the political class of India, atleast the one at the state-level. I have not come across more unethical, immoral, unscrupulous and shameless political class, than in India. Infact i regret that Major Sandeep's father did not spit on this f***er's face, when the latter visited to pay his psuedo-homage.

My only answer to this bastard would be - "Truly said Sir. No Dog would have ever glanced. But one Dog holding the post of Chief Minister of Kerala did try to glance their way and got the best reception ever."

On the very first day of the Terrorist attacks in Bombay, out of the shock, horror and helplessness that I am reminded of, there was only one element of solace... that our politicians maintained poise and did not indulge in the usual blame-game at each other. I thought all the Opposition parties would start blaming the Govt, instead of doing something concrete such as helping people at the hospitals or giving the moral support to India, a unified India, by using their oratory skills. But they surprised me, completely, by not speaking a word against the Government. The attitude of BJP, in particular, impressed me when they refused to use this gruesome incident as a tool to gain political advantage. "Ah! Sensibility Finally", I thought. I think the Govt. has to be blamed, but not at that hour and many parties displayed that sense of poise, much to my pleasant (the only pleasant thing on that day) surprise.

But then, within 24 hours, it is work as usual. I forgot, that they are politicians. How can they ever be stable? How can they ever stand by something? BJP chieftain Mr.Advani, as usual, boasted about how he could answer terrorists better in his heydays, ie., in his position as Home Minister during BJP rule. I saw him say "When they attacked in various places, the way we answered them was strong and unprecedented. we didn't spare them". My Dear Advaniji, What is the point you are trying to make?  You talk about bloody answering them. But Could you avoid those attacks from happening in the first place? Attacks happened right. So how does that differentiate your Govt. from this current Govt.? So, what are you beating your chest for, in this hour that too? And answering them is not your job anyways. It is not the job of this Govt. too. it is the army, the NSG, Naval commandos, the police... So, I don't see any difference, between that Govt. and this Govt. 

A newspaper in Bombay, today, had this message to the people - "Witness a terrorism free India, by voting for BJP" (translated from Hindi). The operation or rather the war with the terrorists at Taj Hotel did not finish yet. The bodies of victims have not been identified yet. The blood in the incident locations have not been cleaned yet. Do we need that message now? BJP is already up, playing to the gallery - Votes Votes and Votes. It cannot get more shameless than this. It is infact vulgar. What are the so called 'respected senior leaders' of BJP doing? I myself have had lot of respect, for some of the BJP leaders, despite differing with some of their ideologies and acts. But then, off-late, not just today, I completely lost all that. Even the so called 'statesmen' have become mere cheap politicians, who are actually running after power and not public welfare. What else can explain their statement in the newspaper at an hour when the entire World is uncertain about what could happen further and when everyone is praying for the safety of people there? Why should anyone vote for BJP? Because they Shamelessly asked, or should I say Begged, for votes in times of national despair. And can any politician, be it BJP or Congress or Janata etc, look and work beyond votes and seats of power?

Our respectable Prime Minister - addresses the nation, saying that his Govt. will take the sternest of the action in future. Really? Who are you kidding sir? You, with all those 50 doctorates you have got, might be having the noblest of the intentions. But can you really act tough, not giving in so-called suggestions of the leader of your Party. And what about your team? your ministers? your administration band? those chamchas? the entire machinery under you and under your team? Are they effective enough? Do you think atleast one sensible citizen of this country will believe you if you tell them that your men are effective enough? Don't they all together make a fantastic bunch of clowns, playing in/with/out the circus of Indian Democracy?

If only all our Police, Commandos and others dropped their hands and pushed all our Indian politicians to the war front!!! Atleast that would have been some rightful cleansing. This ethnic cleansing and all that crap which certain segments in each of our current religions (Islam, Hindus, Christianity..just everyone) are embarking on off-late, for no rational reason, will bring no good to humanity anyways. What we need, in India, is political cleansing. What would our Politicians do, if all their security personnels refuse to protect them for 5 minutes? Just 5 minutes? Given the magnitude of public anger in India, towards politicians, Can atleast one politician, without any security, dare to talk to a crowd? Can they walk into a crowd today? And a crowd which does not carry any weapon that is. A crowd in which there is not even a single terrorist or a naxalite or a militant. Can they walk into the real normal people of India? Can they dare? What will ensue is Mob violence. And I wish it ensues. I wish people of India, me included, drag these bastards out and flog them, lynch them and give them what they really deserve. and it is not just one political party. It is not about a Congress or BJP or CPI or whatever. Every insincere politician who has been doing nothing but amassing assets and properties must be dealt in the same way, even if it is undemocratic. Where is democracy anyways! And I don't think it will be undemocratic too. if atleast 51% of Indians feel the way I do, then... is it not democracy?

Watching TV since last 3 days, and following every bit of the massacre that happened in Bombay, watching those hundreds of innocent people dead, watching those brave soldiers give their lives just to end the trauma, watching those buffoons (politicians) paying their respects to far better souls (had something like that happened in my house, I would have not let a single politician bastard step into my house) than them... and anticipating the upcoming mud-slinging thats going to happen between various political parties, all I am left with is boiling blood and violent thoughts, against those terrorists who have been coming from outside... and these terrorists who have been inside, taking us all for granted - Our bloody F***ing useless politicians.

I commend, praise and appreciate the stance taken by the wife of ATS Chief Hemant Karkare, who died in this battle (There must be a good number of politicians/leaders, famous ones that too, who already criticized Karkare for his findings on Malegaon blasts and terrorism by Hindu outfits and who might now be rejoicing his death, for he came very close to wrapping up that investigation. Now they all go scot free, after paying a pseudo-homage to him)  She refused to take any compensation from Narendra Modi, who announced some compensation. Bravo! Fantastic! Kudos! for Keeping the spirit and honour of her husband alive!

 

A team of 11 people, play with a ball and a bat, to beat a score, just to win a useless cup, for this nation. And they are heaped with expensive Cars, pots of gold and lavish houses.

Few Hundreds of people, gamble in the game of death, play with their lives, to restore safety, security, lives and honour of this nation, settling scores and more importantly by becoming Gods to many people. All they will get now, are bloody peanuts!!!

Who are the real outstanding players? Who should be rewarded appropriately?

What is so great about cricket? What is so great about it and its players, that we have a separate page allotted to it Everyday in the newspapers and we have a separate TV channel for the game? what is so great that there is so much hype, ordeal, talk, money and paraphernalia about every damn thing associated with it?

What is so casual about human life? What is so ordinary about it, that despite fighting with their lives to save many other lives, the army officers don’t get that hype, time, space, attention, rewards and respect?

Is it just a coincidence, that a recent Hindi film, which tried to make a statement against the existing system tackling Terrorism, is named "A Wednesday". It was indeed an ill-fated Wednesday, when few Bastards ignited a mayhem in Bombay. And the mayhem continues. It is indeed shocking that some 20 swines casually entered the country, right through a monument, the name of which is probably taken far too seriously - 'Gateway of India'. They walk in. They kill people on the streets indiscriminately. They kill some of the best cadre cops. They inflict immense trauma to families. They take hostage. They spray bullets on civilians, journalists. They blow up cars. They hold ransom, not just the people, their lives, their future, their families, but my entire country. 25 fucking bastards, go on a massacre which hurts not just me, but everyone. I care not if it is of any consequence, but I strongly wish and pray that they should be apprehended first and then have their limbs, organs and skin peeled and severed layer by layer, before drilling one fat bullet, right into their mouth. This wish of mine, will not cease to play in my mind, until each of them is massacred, beyond recognition. They deserve nothing but death and a death, that eats them, inch by inch, in the most barbaric of the ways. And my blood shall continue to boil, till they are butchered.

Sometimes a childlike fantasy crosses my mind,
How would it be like... to send to you,
By merely hurling into thin air and blue,
All those things and thoughts I wanted to...

From early dawn,with eager enthusiasm,
I hurl many things, unto you, miles away,
Holding each and uttering your name,
And just flinging them away, all the day...

Those stacks of verses, some done and some unfinished,
Those trivial elements of beauty I often come across,
Few photographs and images which haven’t yet vanished,
From our ever-thirsting lives, stealing their gloss...

I send even pin-ups from my room and few words empty,
Each drifting slowly towards you, all the while,
Riding and abiding by these new rules of gravity,
And in the end, making you smile...

When the day is done to dusk, with no sound,
I hurl some songs to electrify the air around.

But when loneliness pins up in bright,
On the silent dark veil of the night,
Ploughing the thoughts I hide,
making my path narrow and wide,
Tell me, what shall I fling, to reach your own self?
Perhaps, those thoughts, a blank paper and myself.
That is when, in you, it is my own self I often find,
Sometimes this childlike fantasy crosses my mind...

Raj at play one more time, with the most malleable and wax-y instrument in our country - Indian Law. Do we have any country in which a political leader not only incites violence frequently, using provocative speeches, but also takes the credit for the vandalism. Raj Thackeray has a problem with everything that is non-Maharashtra. So, he and his people beat all the Non-Maharashtrians there, be it taxi-drivers or shop-keepers or vegetable-sellers. Damn the humanity and brotherhood, a self-respecting Maharashtrian should attack all the non-Maharashtrians and do whatever it takes, be it beating or flogging or killing, to drive them away from the state. And mind you, even film-stars should not be spared.

Divisive politics is something that is as old as Indian democracy (for records sake, lets assume that there is democracy) itself. Perhaps we are familiar with few sides of divisive politics, such as religion based or caste-based politics. For religion based politics, we have BJP, VHP, Bajrang Dal who lead the pack, citing a reason - Hindutva. Their vision of paradise in India is not when we have adequate food with no poverty, flourishing economy and peace, but when every single Muslim/Christian etc are driven away from this country. Where to? They have no idea either. I just heard in the news that the VHP WANTS EVERY HINDU TO PERPETUATE HIS RELIGION BY BEGETTING 5 CHILDREN. Reason: The Muslim population is growing a lot and in 90 years, it would overtake Hindu population. So, the 20-30yr olds in VHP cherish the golden dream to seeing more Hindus after 90s, when they are 120yrs old. The Muslims and Christians (not all, but the fanatic sections) have a different view of paradise. They want every Indian to practice Islam/Christianity as God is only Allah/Christ and no one else. It is perfectly justified even if they realize their dream at the cost of few millions of human lives.

In Caste-based politics, i don't think i can take any specific examples as such. Because Indian political system has bred leaders..sorry, ministers and politicians solely by using caste. Apart from Money, Caste is the only backbone of Indian political system. Country's development can wait, after-all, it has been only 61years since we got independence.

A new dimension of disintegration of this country is manifested in the region related divisive politics. AP's telangana issue is an example. Raj Thackeray's issue is slightly different. He is a regional fanatic and He, with his army, don't mind playing with law. Or I should better put it as: Their mind is all about playing with Indian law openly. Where else can you see a politician who OPENLY challenges and threatens the Government, in public meetings and newspapers that Government and People will face dire consequences if they are arrested or stopped in their mission. And that, even after the High Court warns him harshly.

For the last 2 days, several parts of Bombay is burning. The riots and vandalism is against the arrest of Raj Thackeray. He was arrested after his MNS (Maharshtra NavaNirmaan Seva) army attacked/beat Non-Maharashtrians who arrived in Maharashtra to write some Railway recruitment exams. MNS rioters attacked them at the examination centres. The government immediately called for his arrest and Raj Thackeray threatened to set Bombay on fire, if he was arrested. Both happened. But amidst all this ruckus, it is the common man who seems to have suffered the most. A Non-Maharashtrian in Bombay today, shivers to step out of the house probably. He shivers even more to stay in the house, for he doesn't know who might suddenly lock the house and set it on fire. After-all it is indeed the NavaNirmaan of Maharashtra.

After sufficient damage is done (i sometimes wonder if all this is planned, i mean the 'Damage value', be it in money or count of human lives, is probably calculated and they halt the rioting once a certain 'value' is reached, something like a threshold. Indeed, we have lot of threshold), the rioting stops. The activists and supporters are given a break and are asked to attend to specific duties such as transferring bags of money from one house to another. Once that is done, the politician gets the bail and he is let out. It happens the same way with every politician, no matter what crime or in his words - 'cleansing' he commits and it happened the same to Raj Thackeray too. After he threatened the Government and showed a trailer to them, soon after his arrest, the court granted him bail, much to the joy and applause of his supporters, who will now get ready for the next command, next episode and next war. The pages are turned to fresh ones, in the lives of everyone. Politicians, Government, Law, Judiciary, Media and People, for new entertainment to be scripted.

All this game is just for the entertainment of the people in India. Like films. Political Leaders are the script-writers, film-makers and producers. their chamchas and activists are the actors. Innocent people are the villains. Journalists are the cameramen, who don't want to miss a single shot. And pages on which all these are scripted are Democracy, Law, Judiciary etc. All these are collectively entertaining us all, the people of India, by playing with the actors and villains, tearing and raping the pages. We watch the films, get moved by them, have opinions, write blogs and forget. It happens so often now, that it does not matter anymore, or we don't bother anymore, atleast with the same degree of seriousness as we did few years ago. That was new and had shock-value. Now, we Indians are shock-absorbers, of just anything.

Indians don't like anything cohesive. We claim to have fought 'divide and rule' policy and we attach a social stigma to it. But the harsh reality is that we LIKE the divide and rule concept. Indians like to be divided, by religion, then by caste, then by sub-caste, then by sect, then by sub-sect and the moment our brains fail to conceive further divisions beyond these, we pull out another discriminative ideology - Regional Self-Respect and pump up the divisive politics again. So we have a MNS. Then we will soon have a BNS (Bengal) or PNS (Punjab) or even a TNS (Telangaana) by one more power-hungry local politician. On religious politics front, taking the legacy from VHP and Bajrang Dal, India might soon have a HNS (Hindutva NavaNirmaan Seva) or INS (Islam) or CNS (Christian) forming more fire-spewing communities, which go on to contest elections and participate in vandalism simultaneously. But India will never have a BNS (Bharateeya NavaNirmaan Sena).

Now it is Maharashtra and Telangaana, later, India will disintegrate further into more localized groups characterized by region or language or religion or caste of sect or occupation...the list is endless. One partition is already a red blotch in our history. These partitions will script more. The only difference is that we were sensitive to 1947 partition and it might not be the same in future partitions that are to come. These new partitions would be viewed merely as disintegrations. But then, disintegration outside is just a manifestation of the disintegration inside... of an Indian mind, heart and soul.

The world today seems like a market-place, where you can sell anything
people, dreams, passions, thoughts, truth, justice ...everything could be sold

This mad market-place, couldn't sell me till now!

---------------------------------------------------------------

When I first tasted that wine you brought along one evening, do you remember,
I told you it was bitter initially but I loved it after few sips...and asked for more.

even today, when I reflect upon our relationship, I am reminded of that wine...

------------------------------------------------------------------

Why does Man often spend his time counting his wounds and sorrows..
deeming his life to be the vast sky and his sorrows..akin to the dark clouds in it

Indeed, after childhood, man stops counting stars, which shine in the same sky?

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Do people love themselves enough that they wait, seek and search for the love of another person?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last night I spoke to the moon... till wee hours... because you were not here...
You did the same too, for I know that this moon is the messenger between us...

This night, the moon thanked us both, for breathing life into it, with our words...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Corpses, Corpses Corpses...there are corpses everywhere in this country
Neither a bomb nor a gun, not even a sword, was found on this blood-path

Someone said religion here is a path to see god! they all did..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The night kissed the fading day, and whispered in its ear,
"I shall carry you,for a while, in the womb of my darkness"

The dew drops of the dawn are perhaps its tears of longing, for its mother..

---------------------------------------------------------------------

The longings of the sea turn into music when it splashes on the shore
the longings of my thoughts turn into words when I write a verse.

Alas! My verses don't have music... Alas! The sea doesn't have my words...

I dont know what possessed ilaiyaraaja, when he composed "Vaan Megham" from 'Punnaghai Mannan'. I dont know what he possesses, that he is what he is.

Dipping my pen of thoughts,

in the dark ink of the night...

I hoped to write few tales of life...

on the bright white pages of the day.

But the orange embers of the dusk burnt all my stories.

what remain are few ashes, of empty words,

which shall lose their meaning,

once they helplessly drown in the rain tonight.

----------------------------------------------------------

Lets get rid of this habit we have every morning,

the habit of reading news paper... with morning coffee.

Coffee and Blood don't go well together...

----------------------------------------------------------

Every night when I wait to see it,

all it does is just peeping from the veil of darkness.

Am I the mirror between my soul and the moon?

---------------------------------------------------------

I have always thought and believed that we can get away with anything in India, by paying hardly anything. Till date, I don't our system has underwent any change which can disprove my notion.

This news article confirmed the same.

Sometime around last year, a senior advocate R K Anand was caught on camera, negotiating a bribe, to let a wealthy criminal get away from the apparently long hands of India law. Quite surprisingly, our rusted judicial machinery did administer this and took a not-so-long one year to give its verdict. The bright-side of this judgement is that, quite unusually, the court held that R K Anand was guilty of obstructing the administration of justice using unfair practices. The court stripped him of his designation of Senior Advocate, which indeed raised by eye-brows. Additionally, the court's judgement also disallows him to appear in High Court and its subordinate courts, for 4 months.

But the icing on it and the darker side of this judgement is the imposition of fine. The court, probably was oblivious of current price index and was probably referring its 1950 benchmarks, that it imposed a 'hefty' fine of Rs.2000 on him. I wonder if he could afford it!

Did the court atleast knew that Mr. Anand himself charges in lakhs, per hour, to his clients. Rs.2000 is perhaps the pocket money given by Mr.Anand to his driver's son.

One of the readers rightly commented on that webpage: "Only in India we fine a person a mere Rs. 2000 for raping the law of the land." But then, that is Indian Law.

My point is, why was he not convicted? Does being a lawyer or senior advocate automatically exempts him from convictions, no matter whatever is the magnitude of  the crime he commits?

Well , most people will feel content that Mr Anand has now been disgraced. But I am not. But I am sure this would not make any difference to R K Anand. Afterall, he could get away with not few hundreds, but Rs.2000.

written by Anna, a Georgian Actress in Shekhar's Blog

It’s 4 AM at night and a frightening nightmare wakes me up. I am wearing outdoor clothes, that is not very comfortable in bed. But at that moment, I can’t feel it, since I am too scared...too scared that a huge noise might pierce my eardrums and brightness invade my whole vision. I stand up and look outside from the window. I look at the dark, cloudless sky and I look at the street lamps. I look at the deserted, empty pavement and then back at the sky. Then I turn around and go to bed. I hug my pillow tight and try to sleep as much as I can. But I can’t stop thinking about it...all those images of horrible scenes from the TV are flashing into my mind. Then I hear noise of a jet, flying above somewhere and I feel as my heart starts to beat faster and louder. Fortunately, that night goes well. Nothing happens in Tbilisi, the capital of Georgia.

The next day, I wake up and I am happy to see the sunny day. I am happy to be alive. I turn on the TV to see the news, hoping that the situation is getting better. But instead of that, it’s worsening. I see and hear how more and more villages and towns have been bombed and how more and more people have been killed. I see injured innocent people, crying, looking for their family members in ruins or on the list of dead people. I see young reservists, dead. I see blood and violence, grief and tragedy. My sister enters the room, crying. My niece is sleeping, so that’s why my sister has dared to cry. She won’t cry in front of her daughter. She does not want to scare her. I ask her what happened. And she tells me that a 19-year old cousin of her best friend has died due to the bomb explosion. I did not know him, but it still hurts me. It gives me a terrible pain inside, here, somewhere in the chest. It gives me a lump in a throat. The boy will never see his family and friends again. And his family and friends will never see him again. Because of what? What is the reason? Nothing! A complete absurd. I wonder how many young boys will never see their family again. Hundreds...thousands...

The time flows so imperceptibly fast. I have been watching the news since early morning. Now it’s midday. And suddenly I hear screams and cries from the neighbor’s house. The police is taking their son to the army. And his mother is crying and desperately begging them to let him stay. The father is not going to let his son die for a nonsense and he is shouting at them. But using force the police brings the youngster out of the house and puts him in the car with the rest of the boys. I am not a writer and I can’t describe what happened. I can’t express those emotions and feelings. I don’t know the exact words. The scene was ... it was just... horrible... unspeakable...

News: The United Nations proclaims to Russia to stop the violence, stop the fire, stop bombing the territories of Georgia outside the conflicted area, South Ossetia. But Russia turns a deaf ear to them. They keep on bombing more and more places...

Vladimir Jirinovsky says: “Bomb the whole Georgia day and night!”...

US Vice President Dick Cheney says that "Russian aggression must not go unanswered, and that its continuation would have serious consequences for its relations with the United States."...

Russia is “way out of line!”...

The USA and the EU needs to save Georgia from annihilation...

Russia is waging ‘terror’ against Georgia...

Russia wants the president of Georgia to resign, otherwise they won’t cease fire...

Russia wants to invade Georgia in 21st century...

What’s going to happen? Will it finally end? Will it stop soon?

I am packing rucksacks together with my sister and mother. It is expected that Tbilisi may also be bombed. So we should be ready for it. If it really is bombed, where should we run? Everything’s so crazy.

It’s night again. This time I am too exhausted to be dreaming nightmares. But I still wake up all of a sudden. I hear an awful, deafening noise of an enormous explosion. We all jump from our beds and leap to the windows. There’s another noise of a second explosion. My sister runs into the room all white as a sheet, asking what shall we do. We decide to go somewhere with her car. Outside there are so many people. Almost everybody has left their house. They are all so scared in a state of total panic. After some hours of drive into the city, we return home, since we don’t hear any more explosions. The things that’s scarier is that we are on the top floor, that means that if our house gets bombed, there’s no chance to survive. Heh... This fact always gives me a nervous, weird laughter.

The next day, we find out about it. Thanks god, nobody was harmed. Russian jets have bombed military base and radar installation. Suddenly I hear a telephone ring, that startles me. These days I feel so edgy, that everything startles me. I pick up and it’s my father, calling from the USA. He has heard about the Tbilisi bombing and wants to know how we are. From his shaky tone I notice that he is very nervous. He sounds so frightened. I have never heard my father in such state... Life is so strange.

And now I am sitting in front of a PC monitor and typing a boring, illogical article. I don’t know what I am trying to say...what I want to say... I just want to express my emotions somehow. I keep them bottled and it makes me feel like a heavy load.

I hope everything will get back to normal soon enough; soon before more thousands of people die; soon before Georgia completely collapses.

Restless I am... for what,

I dont know,

and that makes me even more restless.

a 1000 questions bombarding my mind,

pieces of my thoughts, shattered...

what do i do picking these, all scattered...

will i ever find answers? will i ever trust,

that the answers i find, are answers afterall.

what did i do? what i am doing?

what i ought to do? and for whom?

will i ever have a chance to get back,

if i realize that whatever i did,

was meaningless afterall.

will these lengthy preludes of breath,

go useless, without any music afterall?

Last night you went away, after we made love...
When I was still asleep, holding you...
You pulled away your white skirt from my lips,
Lips which left their imprints on the edge of your skirt...
After that, I searched for you...everywhere...
Frantically, i looked for you in all our favourite places
And found no traces...of your visit there.
Then, all the places i have ever been to, in this city,
all the streets and by-lanes...and far off groves
I didn't spare the sky either...

I asked some of your friends,
Who wore starry smiles on their faces,
but didn’t tell me where you were...
Late in the evening, when i got tired looking for you,
i headed back home...with disappointment and hope...
A solemn silence descended into my street...radiant.
And I met one fair beautiful lady with few blotches on her cheek...
She claimed that she was your neighbour,
And told me that you would return to my room in the night...

It is night now and I am waiting for you,
A breeze just entered my room, carrying your fragrance,
earthly...yet ethereal, stimulating...yet intoxicating...
I just heard your foot-falls..and their echoes...
The music of your pattering feet...delicate...
With all my eagerness, I came out to greet you...
At last it is raining...
At last it is raining...and I feel you are hugging me...
I am with you When I am in rain...
Come in...Lets make love again...

When my thoughts falter my speech,
it is only you i approach, i seek...
Together we walk in my world,
in search of those images and thoughts...
unchained...but broken, ingrained...but spoken,
draped in the robes you gave them...

Dear friend, i see you as an image, now and then,
understood, and felt, yet not completely...
like those vibrant tunes of heart, muffled...
like those after-glows of evening lamps, just put off...
I see many great things, in you,
all fashioned themselves in your profoundity,
wearing your robes and singing your songs...

With Peace as your breath,
and beauty as your soul,
you continue to stir inside me,
a soulful of solitude which transfixes me,
and then liberates through a thought i nurture,
by weaving few words for it, to make it a verse...
unchained...but broken, ingrained...but spoken...

i must thank you for being there...
in my world, in me and somewhere in my verses,
for they have in them, your pulse...
cover them with your robes...my dear silence...

A good number of people i know, complain about my negligent nature...in handling my mobile phone. No, i dont dare to drop it 'n' number of times, for it is not a Nokia...but my negligence lies in sticking around it..or vice-versa. The handset i own spent about 2 years with me, of which, it has been in silent mode for atleast 75% of the time. Though i do not argue about the utility of a mobile phone, i find it really annoying. whats annoying is not the calls but the fact that i have to constantly carry this little-weighty external device. the sense of botheration associated with it, is even more irritating than the botheration itself. I was probably 23 when i got my first mobile. and i have stopped using it in between, when i was 24-25. what a peaceful period it was. I still have this urge to discard my mobile phone and i am tempted to do so, if not for the sake of few reasons which bind it to me. Afterall, i have managed without it for 23 years in my life. Discounting the years when i really didnt need it, probably i survived well without a mobile a phone, for atleast 10years. Not bad!

i recently read a couple of articles in the magazine - 'The Economist', which spoke about the evolving changes in the patterns of human behaviour, be it in offices or in social circles, as a result of the growth in mobile communications. One article starts off on a rightly profound note - Sometimes the biggest changes in society are hardest to spot because they are hiding in plain sight. This article deliberates on the how the rapid changes in mobile communications are giving way to what is called as 'Digital Nomadism'. Faster cellular networks, Wi-Fi hotspots and new gadgets to connect to these networks are probably the new vehicles of changing social behaviour.

Nomads, in ancient times, were wanderers who carried all their belongings along with them. Digital Nomads, quite contrastingly, do not carry anything except for their most precious belonging - Wireless Gadget. Thats it, we have business professionals who need just a BlackBerry to avoid going to office. Another interesting thought discussed in the article was the comparison between cars and mobile phones. Cars, apart from other resources, did have a role in the division of cities - into residental areas and office areas, atleast in the west. Such a trend is now catching up in India too. It is now predicted that the wireless technologies would be mixing up these divisions again. With increasing road-traffic problems and related health hazards, future professionals might as well adopt 'work-from-home' concept, all with a hi-fi dedicated network. Should such a trend arrive, there would an interesting change in the dynamics. People would feel liberated from the coccoons of office cubicles. but what about the relationship between people in the office. the word 'colleague' typically means much more than 'we work in same place'. it also stretches to across to someone with whom we have a relationship whose bandwidth lies between 'official acquaintance' to 'friendship'. if people rarely get to visit office, thanks to improved wireless communications, would the word 'colleague' hold any signficance? How would our social perceptions change, if we get to interact through (or with) only emails, instant messages and avatars? if we get used to such a kind of working environment, how would we see the concept of 'Human Contact', in the context of 'Office culture'?

to be continued...

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:

I'm an ordinary man
Who desires nothing more
Than just an ordinary chance
To live exactly as he likes
And do precisely what he wants.


An average man am I,
Of no eccentric whim,
Who likes to live his life, free of strife,
Doing whatever he thinks is best for him.
Oh, Just an ordinary man.

But! Let a woman in your life,
And your serenity is through.
She'll redecorate your home
from the cellar to the dome,
Then go to the enthralling fun
Of overhauling you.

Let a woman in your life,
And you're up against a wall.
Make a plan and you will find
She has something else in mind,
And so rather than do either
You do something else that neither likes at all.

You want to talk of Keats or Milton;
She only wants to talk of love.
You go to see a play or ballet
And spend it searching for her glove.
Let a woman in your life,
And you invite eternal strife.

Let them buy their wedding bands
For those anxious little hands.
I'd be equally as willing
For a dentist to be drilling
Than to ever let a woman in my life!

I'm a very gentle man,
Even-tempered and good-natured
Whom you never hear complain;
Who has the milk of human kindness
By the quart in every vein.

A patient man am I,
Down to my fingertips;
The sort who never could, ever would,
Let an insulting remark escape his lips.
A very gentle man.

But! Let a woman in your life,
And patience hasn't got a chance.
She will beg you for advice.
Your reply will be concise,
And she'll listen very nicely,
Then go out and do precisely what she wants!

You were a man of grace and polish
Who never spoke above a hush.
Now all at once you're using language
That would make a sailor blush.
Let a woman in your life,
And you're plunging in a knife!

Let the others of my sex
Tie the knot around their necks.
I'd prefer a new edition Of the Spanish Inquisition
Than to ever let a woman in my life.

I'm a quiet living man,
Who prefers to spend the evenings
In the silence of his room;
Who likes an atmosphere as restful
As an undiscovered tomb.

A pensive man am I, Of philosophic joys;
Who likes to meditate, contemplate,
Free from humanity's mad inhuman noise.
A quiet living man.

But! Let a woman in your life,
And your sabbatical is through.
In a line that never ends
Come an army of her friends;
Come to jabber and to chatter,
And to tell her what the matter is with you!

She'll have a booming, boisterous family,
Who will descend on you en masse.
She'll have a large Wagnerian mother
With a voice that shatters glass.
Oh! Let a woman in your life!Let a woman in your life!

I shall never let a woman in my life.


It is just a coincidence, that today is Valentine's Day... :)

From the Original Soundtrack of 'My Fair Lady'; Performed by: Rex Harrison

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We were talking...about the space between us all..

and people who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion

never glimpse the truth

then it's far too late when they pass away

We were talking...about the love we all could share

When we find it to try our best to hold it there with our love,

with our love we could save the world if they only knew

Try to realize it's all within yourself...no one else can make you change

And to see you're really only very small

and life flows on within you and without you

We were talking...about the love that's gone so cold..

and the people who gain the world and lose their soul

They don't know, they can't see...Are you one of them

When you've seen beyond yourself...

then you may find peace of mind is waiting there,

And the time will come when you see we're all one...

and life flows on within you and without you