And Then

Thoughts Began To Fly

I'm An Ordinary Man

Published by Aakarsh under on Thursday, February 14, 2008
PROFESSOR HIGGINS:

I'm an ordinary man
Who desires nothing more
Than just an ordinary chance
To live exactly as he likes
And do precisely what he wants.


An average man am I,
Of no eccentric whim,
Who likes to live his life, free of strife,
Doing whatever he thinks is best for him.
Oh, Just an ordinary man.

But! Let a woman in your life,
And your serenity is through.
She'll redecorate your home
from the cellar to the dome,
Then go to the enthralling fun
Of overhauling you.

Let a woman in your life,
And you're up against a wall.
Make a plan and you will find
She has something else in mind,
And so rather than do either
You do something else that neither likes at all.

You want to talk of Keats or Milton;
She only wants to talk of love.
You go to see a play or ballet
And spend it searching for her glove.
Let a woman in your life,

And you invite eternal strife.

Let them buy their wedding bands
For those anxious little hands.
I'd be equally as willing
For a dentist to be drilling
Than to ever let a woman in my life!

I'm a very gentle man,
Even-tempered and good-natured
Whom you never hear complain;
Who has the milk of human kindness
By the quart in every vein.

A patient man am I,
Down to my fingertips;
The sort who never could, ever would,
Let an insulting remark escape his lips.
A very gentle man.

But! Let a woman in your life,
And patience hasn't got a chance.
She will beg you for advice.
Your reply will be concise,
And she'll listen very nicely,
Then go out and do precisely what she wants!

You were a man of grace and polish
Who never spoke above a hush.
Now all at once you're using language
That would make a sailor blush.
Let a woman in your life,

And you're plunging in a knife!

Let the others of my sex
Tie the knot around their necks.
I'd prefer a new edition Of the Spanish Inquisition
Than to ever let a woman in my life.

I'm a quiet living man,
Who prefers to spend the evenings
In the silence of his room;
Who likes an atmosphere as restful
As an undiscovered tomb.

A pensive man am I, Of philosophic joys;
Who likes to meditate, contemplate,
Free from humanity's mad inhuman noise.
A quiet living man.

But! Let a woman in your life,
And your sabbatical is through.
In a line that never ends
Come an army of her friends;
Come to jabber and to chatter,
And to tell her what the matter is with you!

She'll have a booming, boisterous family,
Who will descend on you en masse.
She'll have a large Wagnerian mother
With a voice that shatters glass.
Oh! Let a woman in your life!Let a woman in your life!


I shall never let a woman in my life.


It is just a coincidence, that today is Valentine's Day... :)

From the Original Soundtrack of 'My Fair Lady'; Performed by: Rex Harrison

5 comments:

Anonymous said... @ Thursday, March 20, 2008 8:28:00 AM

You never know till you actually try, right?

Anonymous said... @ Monday, April 21, 2008 1:27:00 AM

ha ha ha....
i am a woman myself and believe a few of my sex are like that....

however,is this agnostic individual so arrogant that he refuses to trust an unknown future to a known god???

ANswer me, Aakarsh...am waiting

gopali
thy unworthy senior@isfs

Aakarsh said... @ Monday, May 05, 2008 1:57:00 AM

U just said it...but Agnosticism doesnt breed arrogance, atleast in me. probably it feeds upon only ignorance! i can take a risk, as long as i do not reach a 'point-of-no-return'. Unfortnately, I scored very less in risk management(in what did i score more!! thats different anyways), during ISFS days. So lets see if i really have to take a risk, at any point. Till then, i continue to be 'an ordinary man.'

aaaalu said... @ Saturday, July 26, 2008 10:23:00 PM

Hi...DOES THIS, not DO YOU, mean that a He wants a She who wants to talk of Keats or Milton, instead of being the One who CAN talk of love and find her glove? If that is the case, isn't it so that SHE IS COURTING AN ETERNAL STRIFE? By the way, I am not a woman.

I am not posting this to criticise...but I am posting this only to know as to what you want from a woman.

And then, I explicitly tell you that you reserve the right to tell me or reject telling me what you have to say there. You may take me to be one who is genuinely interested in continuing to visit your blog or one who is an intruder. I am the former, whatever you say.

Nice post though.

Aakarsh said... @ Monday, July 28, 2008 10:08:00 AM

If i knew what i want from a woman, probably, i would have already been on a search..or even probably succeeded in it. but if i really have to say what i want, then it would be 'an alter-ego's quest for completeness, waiting to be manifested in the communion'. Too complicated? could be? thats why i never bothered myself and preferred 'Ordinary Man'.

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