And Then

Thoughts Began To Fly

I'm An Ordinary Man

Published by Aakarsh under on Thursday, February 14, 2008
PROFESSOR HIGGINS:

I'm an ordinary man
Who desires nothing more
Than just an ordinary chance
To live exactly as he likes
And do precisely what he wants.


An average man am I,
Of no eccentric whim,
Who likes to live his life, free of strife,
Doing whatever he thinks is best for him.
Oh, Just an ordinary man.

But! Let a woman in your life,
And your serenity is through.
She'll redecorate your home
from the cellar to the dome,
Then go to the enthralling fun
Of overhauling you.

Let a woman in your life,
And you're up against a wall.
Make a plan and you will find
She has something else in mind,
And so rather than do either
You do something else that neither likes at all.

You want to talk of Keats or Milton;
She only wants to talk of love.
You go to see a play or ballet
And spend it searching for her glove.
Let a woman in your life,

And you invite eternal strife.

Let them buy their wedding bands
For those anxious little hands.
I'd be equally as willing
For a dentist to be drilling
Than to ever let a woman in my life!

I'm a very gentle man,
Even-tempered and good-natured
Whom you never hear complain;
Who has the milk of human kindness
By the quart in every vein.

A patient man am I,
Down to my fingertips;
The sort who never could, ever would,
Let an insulting remark escape his lips.
A very gentle man.

But! Let a woman in your life,
And patience hasn't got a chance.
She will beg you for advice.
Your reply will be concise,
And she'll listen very nicely,
Then go out and do precisely what she wants!

You were a man of grace and polish
Who never spoke above a hush.
Now all at once you're using language
That would make a sailor blush.
Let a woman in your life,

And you're plunging in a knife!

Let the others of my sex
Tie the knot around their necks.
I'd prefer a new edition Of the Spanish Inquisition
Than to ever let a woman in my life.

I'm a quiet living man,
Who prefers to spend the evenings
In the silence of his room;
Who likes an atmosphere as restful
As an undiscovered tomb.

A pensive man am I, Of philosophic joys;
Who likes to meditate, contemplate,
Free from humanity's mad inhuman noise.
A quiet living man.

But! Let a woman in your life,
And your sabbatical is through.
In a line that never ends
Come an army of her friends;
Come to jabber and to chatter,
And to tell her what the matter is with you!

She'll have a booming, boisterous family,
Who will descend on you en masse.
She'll have a large Wagnerian mother
With a voice that shatters glass.
Oh! Let a woman in your life!Let a woman in your life!


I shall never let a woman in my life.


It is just a coincidence, that today is Valentine's Day... :)

From the Original Soundtrack of 'My Fair Lady'; Performed by: Rex Harrison

Within You Without You

Published by Aakarsh under on Wednesday, January 16, 2008
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We were talking...about the space between us all..

and people who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion

never glimpse the truth

then it's far too late when they pass away

We were talking...about the love we all could share

When we find it to try our best to hold it there with our love,

with our love we could save the world if they only knew

Try to realize it's all within yourself...no one else can make you change

And to see you're really only very small

and life flows on within you and without you

We were talking...about the love that's gone so cold..

and the people who gain the world and lose their soul

They don't know, they can't see...Are you one of them

When you've seen beyond yourself...

then you may find peace of mind is waiting there,

And the time will come when you see we're all one...

and life flows on within you and without you

Kya Bura hain..Kya Bhalaa..

Published by Aakarsh under on Thursday, December 27, 2007
Kya Bura hain...Kya Bhalaa
Hosake tho Jalaa..Dil jalaa..

Muskuraana Sehthe jaana..Chaahne ki Rasm Hain..
Na Lahoo na Koi Aansoo..Ishq aisa Zakhm hain..
Muskuraake zakhm khaale...Na shikhaayat koi.. Na Gilaa..
Kya bura hain...Kya Bhalaa..Hosake tho Jalaa..Dil jalaa..

Saara Din Ghazalen pironaa...Raat bhar Aawaargi..
Hatgaya daaman tho kya hain...Saada dil hain, Saadgii...
Na Dilaasaa chaaha dilne..naa Wafaadaari ka..Silsilaa
Kya Bura hain...Kya Bhalaa..Hosake tho Jalaa..Dil jalaa..
Kya Bura hain..Kya Bhalaa...

Film: Libaas; Lyrics: Gulzar; Music: R.D.Burman

From The Dark Room

Published by Aakarsh under on Wednesday, December 12, 2007
I am a photographer, printing..
Some pictures I took, long ago.
It is night, just the new moon glinting..
On the smoking mountain far away...

Fireflies, here and there, are flying,
The season of winter is done..
I am busy printing and drying,
and the faces emerge one by one...

They seem to rise up from the ocean..
So strangely they come into view,
like moons from the void, in the motion,
and suddenly there is you...

Your face sprighty like a fountain..
looks up from the little bath..
A wind blowing down the mountain
strews leaves on the garden path...

The ruby light falls on the photo,
your face, smiling, tilts up and gleams.
It wants to break free from the water,
It wants to come back in dreams...

O my dear! rise up from the water,
and surface the wave with your eyes.
My breath will, I promise, warm you,
my memory will bring you, into lively skies...

But you have already hardened,
the ripple of water is still,
you must have forgotten about me -
your look is so stony and chill...

Life is hard and demanding..
and you can't live it over again,
if there is no understanding
each other to the end...

This film holds many others,
friends still hidden from sight,
urging me on and on,
to print the photographs in tone..
and I am working here all alone...

.... April 21, 2002

Dis-opinionated

Published by Aakarsh under on Wednesday, November 28, 2007
The only way to escape unhurt in a meeting of highly opinionated individuals is not to have a opinion at all.

An old poem from a younger Aakarsh: Flowers

Published by Random Walker under on Monday, November 19, 2007
Flowers... their fragrances felt in life
and even on a lifeless body as a wreath...
life perhaps is just a journey
of a tender fragrance...called Breath

29.4.2002

Elementary My Dear Self!!

Published by Aakarsh under on Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, through Sherlock Holmes, said - "To the man who loves art for its own sake, it is frequently in its least important and lowliest manifestations that the keenest pleasure is to be derived".

I say - "To the man who loves not only art, but also beauty for its own sake, it is frequently in its sublimally enlightening, captivating and greatest manifestations that the keenest pleasure is to be derived and savoured".

Elementary My Dear Self!

Do kadam Aur Sahi...

Published by Aakarsh under on Friday, October 19, 2007
Zindagi haath mila…
saath chal, saath mein aa...
Umr bhar saath rahe..
Do kadam aur sahi…Do kadam aur sahi…

koi suraj ki dagar..koi sone ka nagar..
chaand ke rath pe chale..jahaan tehre yeh nazar..
dhup dariyaaon mein hain..
phir safar paaon mein hain..
dil ka aawara diya.. doosre gaaon mein hain..
aao chale hum wahi..
do kadam aur sahi…do kadam aur sahi…


Khwaab dhaltein hain jahaan..
dil pighaltein hain jahaan..
aao chaltein hain wahi, woh zameen door nahi…
dosti hogi wahaan..roshni hogi wahaan...
uss ujaale ke liye.. jal chuke laakhon diye..
ek hum aur sahi…
do kadam aur sahi..do kadam aur sahi…


kiski awaaz hai sunn..yeh naya saaz hai sunn..
kaun rehta hai sadaa, chal ke dekhein zaraa..
raah veeraan sahi.. raat sunsaan sahi..
har ghadi saath rahe,
kitne gam saath sahi...thode gam aur sahi….
Do kadam aur sahi… Do kadam aur sahi…


Lyrics: Rahat Indori; Soundtrack: Meenaxi - A Tale of 3 Cities

Published by Aakarsh under on Thursday, October 11, 2007
Today is one of those few days when, i admit, i hate to be alone!

The Business of Devotion

Published by Aakarsh under on Sunday, September 23, 2007
This blog required an update several times. But i ignored it, only because it is increasingly transforming into a newspaper. But i really dont care!


Today afternoon, when i was driving across my street, i noticed a huge idol of Lord Ganesha (Vinayaka). It had been there since a week but i never bothered to look at it, only because the accompanying noisy (noise is sweeter) drums (the din-chak din-chak) and a swarm of drunken devotees always disgusted me enough, that i took some other route to reach my house. well, enroute, i used to see atleast 6 smaller Ganeshas...thats a different story. So today afternoon,when we were passing by that huge idol, my mother startled me with some local information, or say the information which only our colony people know. That idol was worth Rs.80,000. Shudder is the right word to describe my expression after i heard that. Rs.80,000. and the entire street is filled with posters of some esteemed rogue-like dignitaries belonging to the association which has put up that idol. Wonder how much money has been put into those hundreds of posters. The electricity. The sound arrangements for uninterrupted torture to the neighbours. How much does it all come to? How many lakhs?

People spend some lakhs on 1 such idol, and to think of it, in the entire city of Hyderabad, with thousands of idols being put up in every bylane, how much money is being invested in all this fray. We have a chief association in Hyderabad for organising this etire thing for the city. This organisation is headed by some bastards, sorry, politicians (i think it is high time the english pundits realize that both are synonyms, atleast in India)who hog money in the face of devotion(they do it for anything anyways). These people weild power in their hands. They are the people who execute this mass business and make a profit of it. They incite the people to put up so many idols. They procure the permissions from Government, and if they are denied permission anywhere, they protest on the roads, blocking the traffic and creating a havoc.

After putting them up, the Indian comedy show continues. Everyday, the locals organize a series of programs and stuff to keep the show running. These include, not just conducting prayers but also dances. I have seen people dancing to a 'Kajra Re' at one of the idols. Indeed, even devotion has come of age.

After the so called 10 days, when each and every politician involved is content with the bulge of his pocket,the time has come for immersion. Despite the cour order from Supreme Court that idols could be immersed anywhere, this great association throws every court order to thin air and passes a ruling that all the idols should be immersed only at Hussain Sagar lake. They stick to it, only because it has been TRADITION to immerse the idols there. Thus starts another comedy show. Now, thats the final call, where they can make some more money. Government itself spends huge money for immersion arrangements.

And when the D-day arrives, the investment runs into crores. be it for police, for arrangements, or for the posters(millions of them), for garlands, for procession, for drummers, arrack shops, just everything. People get drunk, and still perform the poojas. They create a mayhemwith the city traffic, and yet get away with it. the sound pollution. All this...worth some hundreds of crores. And where is that money going? Hussain Sagar Lake. Ironically, the lake wake is being cleaned 365 days a year, although i always found it stinking.

The show ends when everyone is happy, with their wants satisfied. The politicians are happy with their pockets. The public is happy with the merry ride they had, and will continue to believe that their drunk dance on the streets is enough to wash all their sins away. The priests are happy because they earned much more than what they usually earn. The owners of arrack shops and wine shops are happy because of the spike in sales. The deaf drummers are happy because they earned their share too. The police are happy because their share from the corrupt bounty reached them. The electricity department officials were silenced long ago so they dont have a reason to complain. the auto-rickshaw/trolley/lorry drivers and their owners are happy because the money reached them too. Everyone is happy. even Lord Ganesha is happy, for he has been a spectator (if he really was) to all this drama.Hundreds of Crores changed hands..and metamorphosized into devotion, dogma, fanatism, liquor,noise, insensibility and blindness. Everyone got what they wanted, atleast a share of it and there is no one left to complain.

But yes, there are few... far away. I heard that 40000 families are affected by floods caused by heavy rains, somewhere in the coastal side of Andhra Pradesh. 58 people died too.

Nevermind, we dont have time for all that. Dussehra is coming up. Its time for Durga Pooja folks!

India is a Developing Nation

Future Leaders

Published by Aakarsh under on Friday, August 10, 2007
This is real India...An India, which is shining...which is growing...and emerging.

Indian politicians readily take things into hand and no politician from any country has the courage and audacity to take things into hand in the way Indian politicians do. We should be proud of such people and all the more, we should be proud of ourselves, because we made them our leaders.

Take my word, India has a great future, with leaders like these. Because just unlike the leaders in our history, these leaders do not go to jail. They can never be imprisoned...whatsoever. And we WILL vote for them. They will become future ministers and will rule this nation, much like the same way they were enforcing their rule in the video.

India will shine more...grow more... and rise to a level where no other country can reach.
Be proud about this country...and its people.
I am.


FYI: Dont be disappointed by the fact those leaders in the Video have been arrested. They were granted bail by our Great Judiciary, within minutes. My Great India!

BL-IND-IA

Published by Aakarsh under on Sunday, August 05, 2007
"An eye for an eye, makes the whole world Blind" - M.K.Gandhi.

Is it wrong? or Is it right?
Does it make any difference at all, today?
The people of my country are already blind...

A New Puppet in My House

Published by Aakarsh under on Saturday, July 21, 2007
We have a new puppet in my house,
taking charge as the head of the house...
and this time, its a lady puppet...

i heard that the puppet is very notorious,
and despite knowing that fact,
the care-takers of my house did their best,
to make that puppet, the head of my house...

Anyways, what have i got to do with it...
my house has been heading for shambles since long...
thanks to so many puppets and care-takers...

i sit back to enjoy the evening, talking to my friend,
recounting the many dreams and visions of my room-mates.
My friend asked me to tell a story...
and thus i started telling one,
- " In olden days, there used to be something called Conscience......."

Beyond crossed lines... Part-II

Published by Aakarsh under on Sunday, July 08, 2007
The music didn't stop.The collision of my thoughts, didnt stop either. And that was no music in my mind.

Prisoners yearn to talk with strangers.Probably, they long to..just talk, be it with anyone. Yet, they maintain some dignity in the way they present themselves. They are very particular about not getting to reveal the reason why they are there. If someone asks upfront, "Why are you here?", they just look straight into the eyes and smile. A condemning expression, which is just enough to express disapproval, could actually make one feel guilty for asking it. Because it peels the veneers...of a wound, with which a prisoner lives everyday there..probably all hs life, sometimes.


I purposefully refrained myself from asking such personal questions. Yet, my informal chats with some prisoners unexpectedly steered towards such questions, the answers to which left me almost in a stoic state, for the rest of the day.

My interaction with other prisoners threw up some startling facts on my face. I didnt know how to react when a prisoner told me that over 30% of the prisoners there were actually innocent, and landed there only because they could not prove their innocence. False-cases! A sizeable chunk of people there got convicted in domestic-crime cases, such as dowry cases and suicides. There are some people who got convicted because their spouses committed suicides. Suicides for no great valid reason (is any reason valid enough?) but out of sheer depression due to frivolous reasons. The flautist there, i came to know(as narrated by another prisoner), was convicted for the same reason. His wife committed suicide, out of frustration..that he yelled at her in anger.The case filed was "dowry harrassment". He couldn't prove his innocence and in an attempt to save his parents, he took the blame.


In these situations, one might argue if what we are told by the prisoners stands for truth or not. Even i encountered the same thought, when i was talking to them. "Is it really the truth?" . A clutter of thoughts.. But then, i just thought - "what would this man gain by passing a fictitious story as truth?" Sympathy?? what sympathy can i shower on a person whom i meet only once in my life to interact for only 15 minutes? and what does it fetch him in return, materialistically? would a convict really bother about his image on my mind, when he knows that i am just a visitor there, a real stranger, and can't make a frigging different to his life, in whatsoever state it is? would he camouflague the real story for his "15 minutes of sympathy?". I dont know.. he might. He might not too. But i just took the facts by face, only because...if i were in his place, i wouldnt really care about what a visitor would think about me. Because a visitor..is a mere visitor and cannot change the status-quo of my life, in any way. So, if i were in his place, i would probably remain silent or even if i wish to speak, i might speak the truth as well.


One more guy i spoke to, had similar experience. He is an engineer and his brother is a IIT-grad now working in London. He said that he couldnt pay more money(after selling the pawning the property he had) to the Judge, during the time of his trial (4 yrs ago), for which, he has been sentenced for 5 years.When i asked "even Judges?", he said that, right from moment FIR is filed, it is only money which moves. Any particular post where the flow of money stops, the man ends up in jail. "95% of the judges are corrupt", he said. Given the recent case where the witnesses were openly bribed(shown on TV using cameras, but still, the briber/accused go scott free..it happens only in India), in a high-profile case stuck in Supreme Court, i felt that his estimate wouldnt be entirely wrong, though i hoped it could be an exaggerated estimate. whatever! i felt like spitting on the Indian Judiciary, on which my faith had always been going down...to zilch.

I learnt that the typical 7 year imprisonment is actually not 7 years and that it would actually come down to 4.5 to 5 years, if the behaviour of the convict is good.But what if the convicted person is actually innocent? to think of it, how many innocent people! being in jail is what? is it loss of just liberty? or loss of life tooo, although it is not a death sentence? its 4-7 years? it is loss of everything. career, personal life, personal moments, relationships, dreams, possible futures, hopes. its loss of life. whats left? its 4-7 years of waiting. frustration. anger and all consummating into - "making of another criminal". i am sure, if i were falsely convicted for any reason, i would definitely become a criminal by the end of my sentenced period. and Who makes such criminals!! Our Law! Our Judiciary!


I dont know how prisons were before, but there are some fair things about the one i visited. Prisoners have the opportunity to keep themselves occupied during the day. There are two factories where some of them work. Then, there are courses such as polytechnic, electronics, arts etc. hich some prisoners take up. Everyday, meditation classes are conducted there, which a good number of prisoners attend. if the conduct of a prisoner is really good, he is even allowed to speak to his family almost daily if they visit him. Otherwise, typically, they are allowed some 30 minutes to 60 minutes on any day in a week. But i thought for a moment, "what would the waiting for that moment, be like?" and after waiting for a whole week, if a prisoner's family do not visit him, for some reason, what kind of thouughts hark in his mind? Restless ones? if so, of what magnitude?

By evening, we bid good-byes to the prisoners. Since we were running short of time, we could go around only through some corridors of the prison. I understood that prison is no different from a hostel or a dormitory, except for the fact that the basic rights of a person are stripped.
with a variety of mixed feelings, i got into the bus, to head back home. The events of the day rolled like a mini movie in my mind again and gave me many thoughts, at the end of the day, two of which are :


1. One of the most priceless yet valuable things in life, apart from life, is Liberty. The liberty to chose one's own moment(s) and to make many such choices which make up a living.

2. We need to have gratitude for whole a lot of things such as: our own luck, for being born where we are born. Then, for our upbringing and the education we had. A gratitude for the sense of rationality which was groomed in us, by people, environment, our own thoughts etc. and good deal of gratitude for our own choices till date. and not to forget, a deeper sense of gratitude for that unknown which didnt set up anything so worse for us, that would have landed us in there.

i came home at 6:00pm, with heavily loaded thoughts. As usual, i wanted to run away from them, because there was a feeling of those thoughts blasting and suffocating my mind. Unable to handle them all...i choose to take a nap.
And i slept. Again...


'Within yourself, deliverance must be searched for, because each man makes his own prison'
- Anonymous

Beyond crossed lines... Part-I

Published by Aakarsh under on Sunday, June 24, 2007
"We are all prisoners but some of us are in cells with windows and some without."
- Kahlil Gibran

I thought it would be just another day, with little difference. The company i am working in, wanted to make some difference, atleast on one-day in a year. It mandated that all the employees would do some community service, a social work sort of thing on one day. Managers and Team leaders formed several threads which focussed on many activities such as planting trees, visiting orphanages, old-age homes, distributing clothes to street children etc. My thread was called "Happiness behind the bars", which required us to visit the central prison so that we can mingle with the jail-inmates and ignite some self-confidence in them. The idea was to conduct some activities so that they have fun too. Without even a faint idea about how the experience would be like, i went to Central Prision located at Cherlapally, Hyderabad.

The ticker of thoughts startoff the moment you enter into a prison. and that is true for everyone. I just saw how a prison actually is, and how different it is from what we imagine, thanks to the innumerable movies which project a Pseudo picture of prison.

All the jail-inmates assembled at an open place, which has a dias sort of thing. They were already waiting for us. As i walked ahead, to sit with them, a sudden gush of thoughts struck my mind. those thoughts were loud. quite loud. every face looked at me as i walked past. My gaze was slipping down, for some unknown reason. I dont know why i was feeling guilty to look into their eyes. Perhaps, the guilt was about me being there, which i am sure, must have provoked the still-thoughts of all the people there. It takes lot of courage to look at their face. I couldnt gather it all, the moment it started slipping down. i just needed some time. Probably every face looking at me was jealous about me. and it was me who provoked it, by being there. After few moments, i began looking at the people..just to know who they were and what initial-reactions would my brain synthesize, from the observations.

The look on each face there...it is inexplicable. I didnt really see the faces much. I only looked into their eyes and that was indeed the ice -breaking part of the whole thing. Every look, was no doubt similar to each other, but they had lot in them.probably i was reading too much into them... but my perception of their looks carried lot of baggage. Because there was hidden story behind every face. i just wondered the number of times, they would have recounted the same story, sitting there..with a hope that a day would arrive when they dont have to recount it again and just begin everything afresh.

A prison is one place where a highly educated and well-civilised person and a complete uncouth, both, share a joke, indulge in a conversation and even respect each other. This is a sight which i never got to saw before, not even in the best of temples, which are supposed to be the abodes of God, in front of whom, all are equal. What strange relationship binds two jail inmates? It is not just similar to that of two room-mates in a hostel. Because somewhere deep within oneself, every person, after emarking on a journey of introspection (and retrospection), gets tired talking to oneself and ends up talking out his mind to people around him.

When i went on distributing the refreshment packets to all the people there, some people dispelled every notion of mine, regarding a prison and a criminal, by responding in a very suave - "Thank You very much Sir..". And everytime a gentleman there responded that way, my mind was bombarded with "what might have happened!!". That afternoon, i felt some explosions in my mind...quite many times.

When the cultural events programme started, few prisoners there entertained their fellow friends with some folk and baul songs. When an announcement was made that a certain gentleman would be playing flute, i looked for him, in eager anticipation. Thought it would be another folk tune. To my surprise, that gentleman started playing something which i could very much identify. An Aalaap in Raag 'Keeravani'. the 2-min aalaap later dissolved into an enchanting performance of the song "Zara Zara" from Rehna Hai tere Dil mein ("Vaseegara in Tamil). He played the song, completely, along with interludes and all..to the perfection. The thunderous applause (even from my end), gave me a jolt. Later, the same gentleman played many other telugu songs, and every song was prefixed with a brief aalap of the raaga in which that song was composed. They included Raag "Mohana" ("Bhoopali in Hindustani") , Raag "Suddha Dhanyasi" and Raag "Sivaranjani". Among the songs played to perfection, the most notable was the breathless composition of the late 80s "Maate raani chinnadaani" from film "O paapa Laali" (song "Mannil Intha" from tamil film "Keladi Kanmani").

Obviously curious, i later got to talk to this flautist and mentioned to him the raagas he played. He told me that he got to learn indian classical music for 3 years but due to some unavoidable circumstances, couldnt pursue further since life led him to that place. after having a brief discussion on indian classical music with him, he gave me a small token of gift - a small book having some sacred chants. he was so down to earth and soft-spoken, which really made me more curious about the reason why he was there. i didnt ask him though. But what touched me the most was when he told me - " today's songs are all crap. i dont even listen to them, forget playing. if you ask my favourites, i can say - Only Ilaiyaraaja". i immediately gathered the words "I have a huge collection of ilaiyaraaja's music, i would like to give it to you...". i couldn't utter them.
(to be continued...)
 

Lipsum