And Then

Thoughts Began To Fly

In the wink of Eternity...

Published by Aakarsh under on Friday, April 17, 2009

And my eyelids parted ways...
for the echo of the wink,
that resonated through Space
and reached eternity....
For when you are gone...
gone are the reasons to wink....
and to relive moments of euphoria.
With every wink now,
come more reasons to never open these eyes....
but my eyelids, they part ways, still
hoping you'll hear the echos of the silence
resonating in your heart...
I await those eyes, for in them lie
My reasons to live again...
My reasons to reach eternity....

Author: Anonymous

Ecstasy <=> Reethigowla

Published by Aakarsh under on Wednesday, April 15, 2009

When Ecstasy builds up,

it is like raga Reethigowla bubbling.

And feet dont tend to feel the ground.

 

A Soul'o

Published by Aakarsh under on Thursday, April 09, 2009

It came looking for just a single note probably...
But when it found many, it didn't leave and stayed on.
My soul might have mistaken my body for a flute,
and began playing the song of life ever since...

Of Slumdog Millionaires, Mountains & Molehills...

Published by Aakarsh under on Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Everyone has an opinion on the film 'Slumdog Millionaire'. The movie has been the muse and theme of every journalist, film-maker, blogger, artist, politician and jobless people too. I never had any opinion on the film, when i watched it 4 months ago. Yet, i seem to be having one now, and my opinion is much more an opinion on the opinions of people rather than on the film itself.

I first heard of Slumdog Millionaire probably in July 2008, when i read somewhere that lyricist Gulzar has written one song for a Hollywood film. Later, I read/heard a lot about this film sweeping many awards in various film-festivals. Infact, the first prediction about composer A.R.Rahman winning an Oscar for this film came from writer-director Anurag Kashyap, on his blog and i got curious only after reading that post. I got the soundtrack eventually and was surprised at the euphoria that has caught up for that music; the music was not ARR's best and i didn’t understand why it was clicking. Few days after that, I watched the film and i understood that the way music has been treated in the film was different. Instead of pure orchestral or techno scores laid in the background, here is a film which 'sells' music on the face, in certain sequences. It was different and the difference turned into a shock-value that got all the attention and it just caught along.

Coming to the film, i neither liked it nor disliked it. It was just a watch for me. Nothing more, nothing less. Technically, it was brilliantly shot and the director did handle the kids and their performances well. And the theme of the film, 'Keep the Hope Alive', was well-intended, although they did not effectively translate such a noble theme into heart-wrenching emotional content. That it is hyped up is no surprise. Yet, it was just a time-pass watch. That's about it. And i moved on.

What really amused me was the sharp criticism that came thundering down, for no reason. A section of people had a problem with the film, for no reason. The reasons they cited, in the newspapers and website, seemed so frivolous that I couldn't help laughing everytime I read such opinions.

Reason#1: Mis-representation of India.
My take: Every year, more than a dozen mainstream films have the same theme of 'promiscuity', irrespective of the premise of the film (be it sexed up thrillers from mahesh bhatt camp or movies on corporate business houses or on film industry or page-3 media on fashion industry or on people living in metros etc etc.) and nature of the characters. Are they not showing Indian people in poor light in such films, as sex-starved licentious morons unhappy with their current relationships? How come we applaud such films then? And i don't quite get one basic logic. If SDM being shot in India, makes it complete India, then can we consider all those NRI-catering Hindi films to be Hollywood/British Films? That reminds me, i recently watched a film called "Outsourced", in which an American manager in a firm visits the Indian call-centre office and trains the team there. He eventually falls in love the team-lead, an Indian lady from a conservative household. In one of the scenes, they get to spend a night in a hotel room and they indulge in the cardinal mischief. In the morning, when she wakes up, she tells him that nobody should know about it and later tells him that she is already engaged to someone else. Now this got me thinking - How come people did not raise a cry on this? How did they allow the director to show an Indian woman as an unscrupulous bitch? Is it not misrepresentation of Indian woman? or of Call Centre Employees?

Reason#2: Willful portrayal of India as 3rd world country by insulting Indians
My Take: Oh! Boy! This is imagination. Who wrote the book firstly? An Indian. coming to portrayal, what exactly did the film-maker portray? Slums? Well, a 1000 Hindi films portrayed slums before this film. probably 75% of Hindi films in 1980-90 era were based in slums, with protagonist (Anil Kapoor, Sanjay Dutt, Govinda etc) jumping into a bathroom where a nymphet is bathing. How come no one raised a cry then? Did everyone feel proud about that? how come we never bothered about all those slumdogs before? oh! they never swept any awards. So, valid enough. since this film is hogging the attention, we ought to be sure that we are shown decently there, even if we are not.

Reason#3: Exporting Poverty-porn, exploitation of poverty, blah blah..
My Take: Would people label it the same, if the film-maker was an Indian? Decades ago, there were 2 genius film-makers in India, by names Satyajit Ray and Rithwik Ghatak. They made films, socially relevant to the period, with great portrayals. I am sure, if they were alive and if they made same films now, in this era, they too would have faced the same flak - poverty-porn. How is it that we consider them legends today, when their films sold poverty in many film festivals? Why them? What about Sudhir Mishra's film 'Dharavi'? Why is it considered to be among the good art-house films? Why didn’t we banish that film because it depicted slums? So, it is alright if an Indian film-maker shows poverty or slums? But it is not alright if a Hollywood filmmaker does it. It is alright if we and our people see us naked. But it is not for outsiders? (to think of it, i felt that the movie neither had poverty nor slums, they just appeared in the film, in few shots. Probably a Swades or Mother India had much more duration of poverty than SDM, but as i said, our nakedness should be the muse to entertain only us, but not foreigners). Firstly, it is not an export, since neither the director nor the producer was Indian. secondly, if the same people criticizing the film can export something better (which i welcome), why don't they do it? In the last 1 decade, what have we exported predominantly in films, other than Weddings, Raj/Rahul/Sameer and Bhangra?

And finally, nobody talks about eradicating poverty, but only about it being shown, if at all it really was. And does the origin of film-maker really matter? Infact, i believe that if this film was called as Q&A, instead of the now infamous - slumdog, people would have perceived it differently. It is all in the mind and perception.

Ultimately, it was just a film. A film, whose success was an accident. Neither the film-maker, not the crew aimed at any award and it is evident from the style of film-making itself. The movie looked more like a adventurous daily soap rather than an emotional story (emotional enough to grip the awards committee). ARR never made the music for a certain golden globe or an oscar. If he aimed at them, the score would have been different. He made some music on his Apple computer, for 15 days and used it in the film. Strange that it worked. Instead of being happy that it worked, we have a section of people who complain about the unworthiness of the score. Well, if India wins a match because of a Tendulkar's mediocre innings, do we celebrate the moment of victory? or do we lament about Tendulkar not playing up to his level or not playing the Bradman shots? The most brilliant comment came from an obscure composer called 'Aadesh Shrivastava', who said that the film upset him very much and that he would never compose music for such films, even if Steven Spielberg approaches him. Bravo! I liked his Hope (thats what the film was all about, in case he missed the point, evidently). Just that it blends into insanity.

And I forgot, in India, there must be a religious angle to just everything. I read recently that ARR's "I choose Love over Hate and I am here" statement at the Oscars, has far reaching inner meanings than the humble/noble thought it carries. A certain screwed up character, a journalist infact, wrote in his webpage/blog that ARR's statement actually points to his choice of Islam over Hinduism and the writer blasted ARR for equating Hinduism to Hate. After reading it, I really wondered - ' The no. of Morons in India, is rising, significantly for sure'.

Offlate, my social observations putforth many a question before me. Why is it that these days people have low thresholds of tolerance or level-headed thinking? people find faults so easily, with little issues or frivolous things? How come people are getting offended so easily? A SDM irks filmmakers or common people. a movie title irks barbers. showing a villain character's caste irks that caste people. showing someone smoke on screen irks a certain minister. a valentine's day or pubbing irks a political group. and the less I talk about religious intolerance, the better. And regional? sectoral? linguistic? But i am trying to understand the root cause of this low-theshold for social anger, which seems to be unleashing very quickly from people, be it any issue. Is it frustration? About what? It was not this way, even 5-6 years ago. Ofcourse, people have become very busy now with hardly any time left for themselves. In the little time available, they put their time, energy, emotions and reactions at the mercy of media, which is busy making its own gains, like everyone. By looming so many negative thoughts, at the slightest of the trigger, people are increasingly proving that 'level-headed thinking' and 'rationality' are being replaced by their mad chase for their own needs, wants and securities, in any form they desire. In this run, towards success and identity, unfortunately, in the aspects such as human understanding and tolerance, the quality of mindsets is sinking into a shitpot, much like a scene from the film. People might become Millionaires for sure, atleast in the quality and pursuit of their dreams, but at the cost of becoming slumdogs too, in their mind - brash, short-tempered and frustrated, much like all those who found faults with just a normal film.

Summer of 99

Published by Aakarsh under on Sunday, March 08, 2009

Escaping the melting heat and dust,
we walked into a shade, talking.
That summer afternoon, when we met up,
and we spent time together,
aimlessly and endlessly,
talking about you and talking about me.
You wrote a verse about the shade of that tree,
which, you said, was like singing a lullaby,
I asked you to sing it out.
It was quite a moment.
your verse - like a lullaby,
and me sitting beside you, holding your hand.
You hummed a nectarly tune and i felt i should never let you go.
I looked at the dust around the shade of the tree,
dust raising up in that smouldering heat,
slowly i saw your image filling in it,
and , the dust at once turning into Gold.
Was it your song? or my own foolishness?
though knowing that it was an illusion,
i moved towards the dust,
leaving the Gold behind...

Guide'd

Published by Aakarsh under on Monday, February 09, 2009

Like everyone, i too have a forest,
of my own, in my mind, where i take a walk,
every day and every night,
In my forest, there is a path.
Be it morning, afternoon or night,
Someone looks at me closely,
Through the woods.
Someone always watches me,
With a stare that is piercing,
piercing into the fabric of my soul.
A voice says, ”You haven’t changed much,
"Are you sure you want to keep going this way?”,
With an apologetic smile.
I look up to face those watchful eyes.
And I see high above me,
Treetops, clouds, azure skies..
Changing colours all along,
The Winter, Summer and Autumn..
I recall my life from the beginning,
And I pause my heart to search...
answers to those questions which never found voice,
or those which found voices...muted,
those which had come and stayed but not gone
What have I accomplished? Nothing really.
What have I created? Nothing much.
Always I am struggling on, As best as I can.
Is my best Enough, when all is said and done?
I am always hoping that there is a lot of time,
Will I not be sorry when I find that there is none?
Won’t it be too late for me to realize,
That I had more things still, to fight with?

Someone is still watching me sternly, with gentle eyes,
From those unassailable quiet heights...
in my forest, across all those turns in that path,
Journeying along which, I say, to myself,
“I will try once again,
I will get over everything, I swear,
All those petty hurts, disappointments, lies and hate..”
And I hear the voice in answer,
“I believe you. Try and don’t succumb.
A stainless light will always lead you to your vision”.
All my life, along that path I  go,
To accomplish, to create-following a light,
That bids me - 'Come'.

Violent Dreams

Published by Aakarsh under on Friday, January 30, 2009

In the midnight I suddenly realized that it all turned red,
those white flower patterns are gone and my pillow is soaked in blood
I warned you, but you didn't listen to me,
and you went on talking to me for long in the night,
about religion and how man has used it so far.
I told you that some realities turn into dreams?
but why is this the other way round?
Lets not talk about this next time.
Let me Sleep in peace.

EA Eruptions

Published by Aakarsh under on Thursday, January 29, 2009

Is it really possible to look at/observe/evaluate yourself objectivistically, from a neutral perspective, without being yourself?

Lets Go...

Published by Aakarsh under on Wednesday, December 31, 2008

From one pain, you’ve rescued me.
Did everything possible to cheer me up.
Helped me in my tears,
To move beyond my fears.
One night has ended.
And journey towards another has started.
Another night. Another pain.,
Which divides us,
With the units of time and distance.
Some emotions are indeed a journey,
On the rough waves of a tumultuous sea,
Prying into distant horizons, unexplored,
Of a tomorrow, unknown.

Lets cross this night and journey,
To explore that new dawn,
Hidden in a multitude of avenues,
Calling us in resonant voices.
A chapter lies behind us, let it lie.
Another chapter calls us, lets go…

Chennai Concerts 2008/09

Published by Aakarsh under on Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Everyday I have a look at this link: Chennai Concerts 2008/09

And I feel I am a C-O-C-K.

Because I cannot go.

Damn Life!

EA Eruptions

Published by Aakarsh under on Monday, December 15, 2008

Money is just a myth, an important myth though... used to measure the dimensions of reality.

Bridging...

Published by Aakarsh under on Thursday, December 11, 2008

I asked you
and you said
'you're too vague'
of course I am...
I am afraid
your answer
would be finite
leaving no room
for hope
for interpretation
for dreaming
for yearning
for the search
for myself
in you

An eternity lives
between a yes
and a no.

Written by Shekhar Kapur

Questions-I

Published by Aakarsh under on Monday, December 08, 2008

What exactly is our aim in life?

What is the point we are trying to make?

Whatever we are doing, Is it of any consequence? To whom?

To be able to live, with freedom, choices and comfort seems to be sheer luck. If it is so, do we ought to spend it, aimlessly...always trying keep different things intact..preventing them from crumbling down..be it financial security or emotional bonding or job or future etc?

Are we all supposed to spend our lives, just like managers, balancing many things?

Will we ever be able to enrich ourselves with finer elements of life? things which we deem are finer and which are important to our quality of living?

Will we ever give something, as payback, for all the volume of life, the freedom and choices we have got? Will we ever see the need to give something? Give what? To Whom? to what?  Will our conscience shake us to reflect upon that? And will it push us to really reciprocate?

Do we really have something called conscience? Or is it just a myth?

Will we ever live, without regret? Will we ever give meaning to our own existence? If so, can it be devoid of compromise?

Can we ever be, without any restlessness?

Slain Major's Dad echoed my Thoughts

Published by Aakarsh under on Monday, December 01, 2008
This piece of news vindicated my thoughts, expressed in my previous post.

"The father of Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan, who died fighting terrorists in the Bombay, expressed immense anger towards politicians. He literally shooed away the Kerala Chief Minister, who delayed in offering condolences. The dead commando's father did not tolerate CM's presence and shouted at him to leave at once. He remained firm that no politician should ever enter his house and refused to meet the leaders from his state. He even threatened to commit suicide if any politician entered his house."

The point still remains - "Do our politicians get messages such as these?". The answer is, 'Sometimes, They do". But then, the height of insensitivity they display in their response is something which no politician in this World or for that matter, no sane and level-headed human being can match. Kerala Chief Minister remarked "If it had not been (Major) Sandeep's house, not even a dog would have glanced that way". Those words came, not from a road side riffraff, but from the 2nd citizen of a State - The Chief Minister, to the family of a soldier who died fighting the terrorists. This truly reflects our leaders and their sensibilities. This truly reflects the political class of India, atleast the one at the state-level. I have not come across more unethical, immoral, unscrupulous and shameless political class, than in India. Infact i regret that Major Sandeep's father did not spit on this f***er's face, when the latter visited to pay his psuedo-homage.
My only answer to this bastard would be - "Truly said Sir. No Dog would have ever glanced. But one Dog holding the post of Chief Minister of Kerala did try to glance their way and got the best reception ever."

Clowns at play again!

Published by Aakarsh under on Sunday, November 30, 2008

On the very first day of the Terrorist attacks in Bombay, out of the shock, horror and helplessness that I am reminded of, there was only one element of solace... that our politicians maintained poise and did not indulge in the usual blame-game at each other. I thought all the Opposition parties would start blaming the Govt, instead of doing something concrete such as helping people at the hospitals or giving the moral support to India, a unified India, by using their oratory skills. But they surprised me, completely, by not speaking a word against the Government. The attitude of BJP, in particular, impressed me when they refused to use this gruesome incident as a tool to gain political advantage. "Ah! Sensibility Finally", I thought. I think the Govt. has to be blamed, but not at that hour and many parties displayed that sense of poise, much to my pleasant (the only pleasant thing on that day) surprise.

But then, within 24 hours, it is work as usual. I forgot, that they are politicians. How can they ever be stable? How can they ever stand by something? BJP chieftain Mr.Advani, as usual, boasted about how he could answer terrorists better in his heydays, ie., in his position as Home Minister during BJP rule. I saw him say "When they attacked in various places, the way we answered them was strong and unprecedented. we didn't spare them". My Dear Advaniji, What is the point you are trying to make?  You talk about bloody answering them. But Could you avoid those attacks from happening in the first place? Attacks happened right. So how does that differentiate your Govt. from this current Govt.? So, what are you beating your chest for, in this hour that too? And answering them is not your job anyways. It is not the job of this Govt. too. it is the army, the NSG, Naval commandos, the police... So, I don't see any difference, between that Govt. and this Govt. 

A newspaper in Bombay, today, had this message to the people - "Witness a terrorism free India, by voting for BJP" (translated from Hindi). The operation or rather the war with the terrorists at Taj Hotel did not finish yet. The bodies of victims have not been identified yet. The blood in the incident locations have not been cleaned yet. Do we need that message now? BJP is already up, playing to the gallery - Votes Votes and Votes. It cannot get more shameless than this. It is infact vulgar. What are the so called 'respected senior leaders' of BJP doing? I myself have had lot of respect, for some of the BJP leaders, despite differing with some of their ideologies and acts. But then, off-late, not just today, I completely lost all that. Even the so called 'statesmen' have become mere cheap politicians, who are actually running after power and not public welfare. What else can explain their statement in the newspaper at an hour when the entire World is uncertain about what could happen further and when everyone is praying for the safety of people there? Why should anyone vote for BJP? Because they Shamelessly asked, or should I say Begged, for votes in times of national despair. And can any politician, be it BJP or Congress or Janata etc, look and work beyond votes and seats of power?

Our respectable Prime Minister - addresses the nation, saying that his Govt. will take the sternest of the action in future. Really? Who are you kidding sir? You, with all those 50 doctorates you have got, might be having the noblest of the intentions. But can you really act tough, not giving in so-called suggestions of the leader of your Party. And what about your team? your ministers? your administration band? those chamchas? the entire machinery under you and under your team? Are they effective enough? Do you think atleast one sensible citizen of this country will believe you if you tell them that your men are effective enough? Don't they all together make a fantastic bunch of clowns, playing in/with/out the circus of Indian Democracy?

If only all our Police, Commandos and others dropped their hands and pushed all our Indian politicians to the war front!!! Atleast that would have been some rightful cleansing. This ethnic cleansing and all that crap which certain segments in each of our current religions (Islam, Hindus, Christianity..just everyone) are embarking on off-late, for no rational reason, will bring no good to humanity anyways. What we need, in India, is political cleansing. What would our Politicians do, if all their security personnels refuse to protect them for 5 minutes? Just 5 minutes? Given the magnitude of public anger in India, towards politicians, Can atleast one politician, without any security, dare to talk to a crowd? Can they walk into a crowd today? And a crowd which does not carry any weapon that is. A crowd in which there is not even a single terrorist or a naxalite or a militant. Can they walk into the real normal people of India? Can they dare? What will ensue is Mob violence. And I wish it ensues. I wish people of India, me included, drag these bastards out and flog them, lynch them and give them what they really deserve. and it is not just one political party. It is not about a Congress or BJP or CPI or whatever. Every insincere politician who has been doing nothing but amassing assets and properties must be dealt in the same way, even if it is undemocratic. Where is democracy anyways! And I don't think it will be undemocratic too. if atleast 51% of Indians feel the way I do, then... is it not democracy?

Watching TV since last 3 days, and following every bit of the massacre that happened in Bombay, watching those hundreds of innocent people dead, watching those brave soldiers give their lives just to end the trauma, watching those buffoons (politicians) paying their respects to far better souls (had something like that happened in my house, I would have not let a single politician bastard step into my house) than them... and anticipating the upcoming mud-slinging thats going to happen between various political parties, all I am left with is boiling blood and violent thoughts, against those terrorists who have been coming from outside... and these terrorists who have been inside, taking us all for granted - Our bloody F***ing useless politicians.

I commend, praise and appreciate the stance taken by the wife of ATS Chief Hemant Karkare, who died in this battle (There must be a good number of politicians/leaders, famous ones that too, who already criticized Karkare for his findings on Malegaon blasts and terrorism by Hindu outfits and who might now be rejoicing his death, for he came very close to wrapping up that investigation. Now they all go scot free, after paying a pseudo-homage to him)  She refused to take any compensation from Narendra Modi, who announced some compensation. Bravo! Fantastic! Kudos! for Keeping the spirit and honour of her husband alive!

 

 

Lipsum